Etched In Cold

This Bears Repeating

2011-02-15T23:18:00.000-05:00

Since I can't really put it any better, I'm plainly going to rip off Nightmare on Helm Street:

USA Today is running a poll of its readers of who is the greatest player in any sport to wear 19. I think the answer is obvious, but right now, The Captain is lagging far behind Johnny Unitas and some ancient named Bob Feller.

We can't have this, so here's my call out to you Red Wing nation, get Yzerman that honor. Only around 5K people have voted so far, so it can easily be swayed.

Vote here, vote often. Tell your friends. Tweet. Facebook. Write. Yell. Etc. Just get our 19 to #1.

Here's the article.

Steve Yzerman, once a Wing, always a Wing.

Go vote. And then go vote again on a different computer. And then get your parents and co-workers to vote.

What Lemieux MEANT to Say

2011-02-14T14:18:00.005-05:00

By now, everyone's read what Mario Lemieux said in his statement following the Islanders/Penguins game on Friday. And everyone and their mother has given their opinion on if he was right to make the statement and if anything good will actually come from it.

After spending the entire night digging and making shady back-alley deals, I got my hands on the original draft of that statement. I think it provides a little more insight into his true feelings and intentions.

"Hockey is a tough, physical game, and it always should be, but what happened Friday night on Long Island wasn’t hockey. It was a travesty. It was painful to watch the game I love turn into a sideshow like that without being able to put Matt Cooke on the ice."

"The NHL had a chance to send a clear and strong message that those kinds of actions are unacceptable and embarrassing to the sport. It failed. Of course, by that I mean that beating the Pittsburgh Penguins 9-3 is unacceptable and embarrassing to the sport."

"We, as a league, must do a better job of protecting the integrity of the game and the safety of our players. And by 'our', I mean MINE. We must make it clear that those kinds of actions will not be tolerated and will be met with meaningful disciplinary action towards anyone NOT wearing a Penguins jersey."

"If the events relating to Friday night reflect the state of the league, I need to re-think whether I want to be a part of it. And whether I need to try to sign Georges Laraque again."

Thank God that the PR department in Pittsburgh got a hold of it before it hit the press, imagine what would have happened in the media if Mario didn't edit that.

*This is not really his original statement. Obviously.

On Cooke and Crosby and Concussions

2011-02-11T16:00:00.000-05:00

Every mainstream media talking head is up in arms about concussions in today's NHL because Sidney Crosby MIGHT miss the rest of the season. MIGHT. As in it's not even known yet just how long he'll be out.

The saddest part of Crosby's concussion is that THIS is what it takes to get this issue addressed. A superstar getting hurt.

Oh, what's that, you say, Marc Savard?

You had a concussion long before Sidney Crosby did? And it was from his teammate, Matt Cooke? On a blatantly dirty play, prior to which you had what one can assume was a perfectly clean bill of health?

You see, my friends, THIS is what's wrong with the NHL. I mentioned it before in my now infamous newspaper interview with the Detroit Free Press.

"I believe the NHL has its own interests besides individual markets," [I] said. "They're trying to look out for the big picture."

Cooke, playing for Pittsburgh, takes out a Boston player, Savard, with what will be known as one of the dirtiest hockey plays this side of Claude Lemieux and gets away scott-free. Where was the "we've gotta stop this shit, pronto" discussion then? There might have been murmurs here and there, but no one was really hoisting that flag.

Fast forward to now. Here we have Crosby, Pittsburgh's shiny gold star, out indefinitely from what I believe to be incidental and minor instances that lead to what I've only seen as a 'mild' and 'grade I' concussion. And I say that as a HOCKEY fan. Not as a Gary-Bettman-hating-Sidney-Crosby-effigy-burning Red Wings fan. But now there's a big anti-concussion movement stirring in the ranks of the NHL front office.

Let's take a brief look at the Steckel hit. The Capitals are moving the puck up-ice, Steckel is rushing to join the play. Crosby is skating with his head turned, watching the puck with that Gretzky-esque "don't touch me, I'm a superstar" attitude.
Boom, Crosby gets blindsided.
Blindsided, right? That means dirty play, doesn't it?

NO.

Steckel and Crosby were doing the same exact thing, watching Hendricks carry the puck up ice. You can see in the replays that Steckel drops his shoulder right before impact. I believe whole-heartedly that that was an attempt to AVOID hitting Crosby. Think about it. If you drop your shoulder like that before hitting something, it's usually trying to make your profile slimmer to avoid getting hit. You see that more in hockey players sidestepping a check rather than making one.

You know what you don't see in players that are looking to avoid contact with another player? Leading with the elbow. That's what Cooke did. Just like in other plays where he's lead with the elbow. Or the knee. Or hitting from behind. Or some other illegal NHL action. The fact of the matter is Cooke has been involved is no many dirty plays wearing that Penguins jersey, it's absolutely absurd that he's only been suspended 6 games. 6 games for a dirty hit, that sounds about right, right? It would be better if that weren't a cumulative total. If you break it down, he's averaging less than 1 game's worth of suspension for the amount of dirty play he's done. Showcased by Don Cherry, starting at 1:14 in is a nice little montage of dirty plays he's been involved in. And through all of that, there's only been 6 games of suspension? And 4 of those came from what I think might be the least offensive hit of all of those.

Let's get back to the main issue here. Concussions are tricky, tricky beasts. Once you have one, you're more susceptible to more. Let's say (as is the likely case) that Crosby got his concussion in that play. That freak, accidental play. I don't care if you're a superstar in this league. If you have even a CHANCE at having a brain injury, you wait it out until you know damn well that you're good to go again. You don't go play again 4 days later and hope for the best.

Let's look at another concussion case that Red Wings fans are all to familiar with. Andreas Lilja. He missed 370 days returning from his concussion. That's a year and 5 days. Not just 4. And you know why? Because he did it RIGHT. He wasn't rushed back, and he didn't rush himself back. He took his time and made sure that he was good to go again. And when he did return, he was a solid addition to the team. He wasn't a liability.

No one knows who's really at fault for Crosby's playing against Tampa Bay. Was it the medical staff okaying him too soon, was it him lying to the medical staff to get okayed too soon, was it the coaches or some other influential person? We don't know the answers to that. But in his returning to that game against the Lightning, he made himself a bigger liability to the team than he helped them by playing. He's been out since. And we don't know when he'll be coming back.

So now the NHL has a problem they have to address. But let's be real here. This isn't about the NHL protecting the players. It's about protecting their assets. Do people in Phoenix buy tickets to see Marc Savard or Andreas Lilja? No. But they come to see the NHL's golden boy Crosby. So if he's not playing, the NHL is going to suffer. So now they are putting on the concerned hats and acting all worried about the players.

It's not about keeping the player's best interests in mind, or making sure that they're going to be okay post-career. It's about making sure their pockets are lined.

As always, comments are appreciated.

The Stanley Cup Finals of Ugly Jerseys

2011-02-10T14:32:00.003-05:00

As you may remember, there was a plea heard crying out across Red Wings Nation just under a month ago for ideas and designs for the Red Wings' worst possible 3rd jersey, if they were to ever accept one.

The response was incredible. It was quick, it was funny, and it was UGLY.

But now we have all these entries and no winner. Yet. That's where you come in.

Much like how Operation: Curly Fries let good ol' fashioned democracy decide the winner between curly fries and roast beef sandwiches, we're going to let you, Red Wings Nation, the people this contest was designed by and for, pick the winners.

You'll notice on the left side of my blog a poll. Yeah, I upgraded the digs around here for this contest. Never had a poll before. I do now. But on that poll you'll see 16 choices for which design you think is the ugliest. But that's not because we only got 16 entries. In fact, we have double that amount. You'll see the other half of the entries posted by my partners in this whole contest ordeal, The Production Line. I strongly encourage you to pop over to their page and vote for the design hosted there that you think is the ugliest.

So here you go. 16 of the ugliest jersey designs you'll ever see:

Gold Eagle

1995 Inspired

Mauve Irrelevant

Purple Octopus

Tychkowski

Neon Abomination

Cup & Ring

Hey Hey Hockeytown

Samuelsson

Guardian Winter Classic

Guardian Comic Sans

Guardian Plain

"Der Wings" 6

Detroit Lions

Blue Baseball Look

Click any design to see a zoomed version.

So there you go. Half of the ugliest Detroit Red Wings inspired 3rd jersey ideas ever. Be sure to vote here and over on The Production Line on the other half, and leave your two cents on the various designs in the comments. I'm sure the artists would love to hear what everyone has to say about their work.

Some of the Worst... So Far

2011-02-01T14:34:00.001-05:00

Last week, a call was put out to Red Wings Nation to design what would be the worst Red Wings Third Jersey imaginable. The responses we got were incredibly bad.

Luckily for everyone involved, that's great news.

Today is February 1st, leaving only 9 more days to enter your submissions. Some of you still are working on your ideas, and some of you are still looking for ideas. So to help you out, and also to showcase some of the terribly good or wonderfully bad designs we've already gotten, here are my 5 picks of the litter so far.

A few side notes before we get to the jerseys, though.

These are in no way meant to be finalists, those will be named later. But that doesn't mean that some of the designs you see here or also over on The Production Line today CAN'T be finalists, either. These are just examples of what we've gotten so far, to show the different ideas and mediums we've all received. You can use them to draw some inspiration, or just enjoy the varying degrees of ugly we're posting on our pages.

Now, without futher ado, my 5 jerseys.

This monstrosity was one of the first and worst submissions I got. It's ugly on so many different levels. First, the color scheme is just harsh on the eyes. It looks like a firework factory explosion mated with a Easter egg dye factory and its offspring went on to mate with a Reebok jersey factory, all of which occurring in Gary Bettman's wet dream. And second, and I'm not sure if this is worse than the colors, is the Sidney Crosby overload. Is it implying that he'd be on the Wings, or is that going to be for every player on the Wings? Either way, it's plainly and simply ugly.

One of the more 'professional' looking types of ugly we've seen, this gets a spot on the page today for it's feasibility. This looks like a jersey we could actually be subjected to if the Wings opted to wear a third jersey. It touches on the classic Winged Wheel design but bastardizes it to the point of ad nauseam. And although I've always wanted to see a touch of black added to Wings jerseys, this design makes it look forced and unnatural, but also like it would be okayed by the NHL.

Another example that overuses the classic Winged Wheel design, this piece puts the wings anywhere they will fit, and then some places they won't. Also touching on the cliche circular, somewhat-related-but-not-really-related logo idea that nearly every other team team likes to use. Oh, and stripes. Lots and lots of stripes. I also really like how it doesn't even mention the team name. That's truly an ugly combination.

Another Paint submission, this one puts the Wings' current jersey into a blender with other third jerseys and pops out a new Wings jersey after 2 minutes on 'puree'. The V striping on the bottom of the jersey, the vertical wording on the sleeves, and yet another circular logo in the middle. The addition of black to the color scheme seems illogical and hackneyed again here, too.

I don't think words can even accurately describe the horror this jersey displays. It touches on the Wings' current jersey, but just like the Penguins', Bruins' and Flames' third jerseys this year, also reminds us the team's past. And, similar to the Blackhawks, Panthers and Predators, it features the ugly head of a creature no one ever wants to see face to face.

Remember, there is still time to get your own personal submissions in. These are just a sampling of the jerseys we've received. Be sure to check out The Production Line for a few more examples, and if you haven't already, get designing. And be sure to share your ideas and opinions in the comments.

Red Wings Ugly Third Jersey Contest

2011-01-25T12:01:00.004-05:00

Last week, I posed a question to my followers on Twitter, asking what 28 other teams in the league had that the Red Wings didn’t. I got various responses, saying cheerleaders, mascots, and Canadian captains.

The answer that I was looking for was an official 3^rd jersey.

Ever since the league okayed teams to submit 3^rd jerseys for approval back in 1995, every team in the league but 2 has had an officially sanctioned 3^rd jersey.

Who are those two holdout teams?
Oddly enough, we'll see them both in action, sharing the ice tomorrow night.

The most important? The Detroit Red Wings. The most ironic? New Jersey.

...

Seriously, how funny is it that New Jersey hasn’t really had a new jersey to market?

But that’s me getting distracted.

The point is, most of the 3^rd jerseys the league has allowed have been absolutely hideous. Just look at the ones in use this season.

Okay, truth be told, I really like the Los Angeles one...

On the 14^th of this month, during a game against the Columbus Blue Jackets and their very own atrocious 3^rd jerseys, @sigsegfalt called for a contest to see who could, in keeping with the NHL’s long standing tradition of allowing teams to abandon color schemes and common sense, come up with the world’s worst possible Detroit Red Wings 3^rd Jersey.

Well, Red Wings Nation, ask and you shall receive.

I’m very proud to announce a partnership with the guys over at The Production Line in bringing you the

Red Wings Ugly Third Jersey Photoshop Contest.

The rules? There are no rules. Just Photoshop/MS Paint/Gimp what you think would be the worst possible Red Wings 3^rd jersey and send your creation to either EtchedInCold@Gmail.com or contact@theproductionline.us by February 10th. At the end of the weeks leading up to the announcement of the winner, you’ll see some of the best (or is it worst?) submissions on this site and over on TPL.

What’s your motivation?

The second runner up will receive what’s known in some circles as the ultimate vintage card prize pack, featuring, among others, an autographed Tim Cheveldae card.
First runner up will receive a shirt from The Production Line store.
Grand prize will be a chance to see your design on an actual shirt, handmade/screen printed by me.

So, remember, turn in your ideas before February 10^th, and keep checking in here and over at The Production Line to see some of the worst Red Wing jersey ideas you’ve ever seen in your life.

Bad is good, and good is bad.

Yes-bokov or No-bakov?

2011-01-21T14:32:00.000-05:00

Okay, I'll admit. This probably isn't the most clever title, and it's a clear rip off of the Prodano/Nodano saga of the summer. But I'm standing by it.

Since about 10 am yesterday, Twitter, the blogosphere, and the entirety of Red Wings Nation has been absolutely on fire with the news of the Red Wings starting talks with, then signing, and lastly putting Nabokov on the waiver wire.

This has made people go absolutely insane, on one side, hoping he comes and does well to hoping he comes and fails, and on the other side, hoping he gets claimed by another team, prompting some of the worst trade propositions I've ever seen.

My take on this whole situation is about as clear as Nabokov's future.

If he clears waivers, and lands in Detroit, I think it's a great pick up. Just another clear cut reason why Ken Holland is the best GM in the league. It's funny how we can go half of a season without anyone even looking to pick Nabby up, to now that Ken's inked the deal, we have to worry about 27 or so teams thinking, "You know what, he's right!"
Ozzie's out. This is for sure. That cannot be changed.
And, as always with goalies, and especially with Osgood, when he comes back, we can't know for sure how he's going to play. With him not even slated to come back until March, that doesn't leave very much time for him to get his shit in gear for a playoff run. If we get Nabokov, I'm looking at two options.

Best case scenario: we'll have a (somewhat) proven goaltender who's got something to prove and could come and light the league on fire.
Worst case scenario: we get a cheap goalie who can possibly give Jimmy a few games' rest at a time to keep him fresher for a deep postseason run.

I don't see a bad side to this.

My problem with this deal comes if he gets snagged up off waivers. There are any number of teams looking at this signing and licking their chops to get a hold of him for the same reasons I listed before.

But what if we're dead set on getting Nabokov in Detroit? Who would we give up to get him here? WILL we give someone up to get him here?
I'm reminded of the Hasek for Kozlov trade. Can Ken pull out a little more magic to get our goalie for dirt cheap like he did then?

Or if he gets taken by some other team, do we pack it in and start looking elsewhere for a back up goalie? Do we try to snipe another veteran goalie? Do we just rely on our AHL goalies to back up Jimmy until Ozzie comes back and then roll the dice with him or ride Jimmy until his winged wheels fall off?

Everyone and their brother is speculating who would take Nabokov, and coming up with a crazy goaltender musical chairs game. I'm going to hold off on all that, because my crystal ball is in the shop. As of right now, I've heard 2 teams taking themselves out of the running:

Washington - via Matthew Barnaby's tweet--

Washington guaranteed will not be the one picking up nabokov! They are happy with their goaltending.

New Jersey - via Rich Chere's tweet--

GM Lou Lamoriello says Devils will not put in a claim for goalie Evgeni Nabokov.

That leaves 25 teams. We have about 21 and a half hours before waiver claims close. We'll see what happens right around the game against Chicago.

My Half-Season...ish Review...ish

2011-01-13T17:22:00.001-05:00

Well, it’s been a sort of down week across Red Wings Nation, with the Wings not playing a game until tomorrow.

Yes, they were in Denver on Monday, but I wouldn’t exactly classify that as a game. They managed to pop in for a few minutes, but a GAME? No

And with the calendar changing over to 2011, and the season just about over, I’m going to go through and do a quick half-year player review. It’s easy and should be somewhat quick, and I need to post SOMETHING. (How many times have I said that?) So here we go.

Lidstrom (11-30-41): Lidstrom is apparently hoarding the fountain of youth somewhere, because he’s returned to early millennium form. Remember last year, when he had that terrible goal drought? Not so much this year. He is having a great year, both defensively and offensively, and will be punished for that by going to the All Star game.

Bertuzzi (7-20-27): Bert’s an enigma this year. Remember the heyday of the BFF line, and when our favorite kitty killer was leading the league in +/-? Something has happened that needs to be remedied soon. He’s still a solid player, but he’s gone quiet lately. Maybe he’s holding back for a late/post season run? Maybe he’s just burnt out a little after blazing out of the gates early. I don’t know, but I won’t count him out yet.

Holmstrom (11-11-22): Homer has been confusing me. He’s been quiet nearly all season long. He hasn’t been out there as much as I remember him being in the past. Usually, if he’s not putting up goals, he’s still making noise out on the ice, screening and agitating opposing goalies and defensemen. Right now, however, he’s making most of his noise in the form of referee’s whistles, leading Red Wings forwards in PIM, and second on the team.

Zetterberg (16-33-49): Is there any player in the league having a better, quieter year? He’s hardly been a take-over-a-game player, and yet he’s still among the best players in the league. Much like Lidstrom of years prior, he’s so good because he’s going to beat you quietly and you’re not going to notice until it’s too late. I have no problems with his play at all this year. Except that he burned my fantasy team a few weeks back.

Kronwall (8-13-21): Is anyone else as shocked as me that Kronner has played in every game so far this

year? Here’s hoping that I’m not a curse. Having played in every game so far, I’d like to see him being better than he has been so far. Maybe he needs a rest or something but he’s not as sound as he’s been in the past. With Stuart’s injury, we’ll need him to step up and lock it down better from here on out.

Helm (4-13-17): The last of the Wings to play in every game so far this season, he’s looking better as the season rolls on. Maybe he’s meshing better with his newest grouping of line mates, or maybe he’s been lurking on Twitter and reading EVERYONE’S comments about how that man needs new hands, because he’s been putting points on the board lately, and has been one of the best players on the Wings on a nightly basis for the past few weeks.

Salei (0-6-6): Forget those stats I just threw up next to his name, because he was never brought in to bolster the offense. The more telling stat is his +2. That, given Babs’ tendency to pair him with a lackluster D-man, is pretty good. He’s been solid. Both as a defenseman and as a brick wall, being one of the Wings’ more physical forces on the back end.

Franzen (18-15-33): Don’t look now, but Frickin’ Franzen has put more pucks in the net this season than notable goal-scorers Zetterberg, Toews, Malkin and Ovechkin. I don’t know how many votes he got for the All Star game, but personally, I think he deserves to be in more than probably 73% of the players that did get in. He’s the power forward the Wings have never had. He’s more Bertuzzi than Bertuzzi. And that’s not only a good thing for the team, but also NOT surprising to me.

Stuart (3-9-12): Our best non-Lidstrom defensemen and third string goaltender is out for 6-8 weeks. Before the bullshittery that was the entire debacle behind the hit that took him out, he was out there, banging bodies, breaking up passes and backing up our goalies when they were down and out. He is a presence that will be dearly missed in the upcoming months, and I’ve got all my fingers crossed that he’ll be back on or before March 11. But no later.

Filppula (10-15-25): Maybe it’s just me; maybe I’m just absolutely stupid when it comes to hockey, but has the play of Flip left something more to be desired to anyone else out there? I know he’s having, for all intents and purposes, a good year, but there’s something deep down inside of me that says there’s another level of play that we haven’t seen out of him yet. I like the kid, I like his game, but I’m not convinced that he’s reached his whole potential. With the injuries going around (like the one to his very own groin) I’m hoping he has that “11” on his dial that we can see when he comes back to playing at 100%.

Hudler (3-9-12): There is, to me, a problem when you’re supposed to be one of the premiere goal scorers on the team and you’re mirroring Brad Stuart’s offense exactly. I get the whole gunshy thing, returning from the KHL, but I have to think that when you’re being catered to by the coach to get you going, you’re going to have maybe, possibly, hopefully double digit assists. At least. The extra talent on this team should be added to by a player like Hudler, not Hudler’s play being added to by the extra talent on the team.

Miller (1-6-7): There are 2 things that Miller BARELY has more of than me this season. Grey hairs and NHL goals. Sure, he’s been a victim of the Leino Lounge/Klub Kindl (™ TPL) Shuffle, so I’m not going to rag on him as much as he would have gotten. Since the injury rash has hit the Wings, he’s become more reliable, with a point every 1.5 games or so. I alluded to it when the Wings resigned him over the summer, but he needs consistency to play consistently. So far, he hasn’t gotten it, so we’re not getting it. But I’m not going to complain, because he’s doing the best he can.

Cleary (16-10-26): This will come as a shock to no one who has ever read my blog, but I will not complain about Cleary at all. Not here, nor ever. He has played well over the level he needed to, and with my help, took over the team’s goal scoring lead until being taken out by an unfortunate Stuart slapper off the foot. Just like Franzen, Cleary has also netted more goals than Malkin and Ovechkin. Pretty damn good for a ‘3^rd liner’, eh?

Ericsson (2-8-10): HOLY SHIT JONATHON ERICSSON HAS THE 4^TH HIGHEST +/- RATING ON THE RED WINGS! But he also has the highest PIM. He’s more Bertuzzi than Bertuzzi, and not in the Franzen sense. Enough said?

Abdelkader (3-7-10): Abs is the other Red Wing that jumps out at me for hiding something. Maybe I’m just hopeful, or -as I offered earlier- maybe I am just absolutely hockey-dumb, but I think there’s a higher level of hockey in him that has yet to be unleashed. He’s in no way playing poorly, sharing the top +/- on the team, but I think this kid has something in him that can put up points at a higher rate. Maybe, in a year or so, as his role on the team changes, his play will change to include that. Or perhaps his play needs to change to change his role. Either way, I’m fairly certain there’s more to him that we should be seeing soon.

Datsyuk (12-17-39): Surprise, surprise, surprise, I’m going to draw a parallel between Datsyuk and Zetterberg right now. He’s so good, doing it so quietly, that you really only notice just how much he does for the team when it’s gone. His return to the team will instantly improve it. And it can’t come soon enough.

Rafalski (3-27-30): I don’t think Raf gets enough credit for what he does for this team. For as much as he’s been called out by other blogs lately for spotty, poor play, he’s still #1 on the team with a +12 rating, and he’s putting up JUST UNDER a point per game. I don’t think there’s much to complain about when looking at the big picture, but we can all certainly ask for a little more out of him while Stuart’s on the shelf.

Modano (2-6-8): Not exactly the way Mikey Mo wanted to make his homecoming season with Wings notable for, but once he puts down the Hawthorne Heights cds and comes back to the team, I hope his time on the injury list equates to a red hot close to the regular season and a long, productive appearance in the playoffs.

Draper (3-1-4): I have a love-hate relationship with the Wings’ donut goalie pioneer. I used to think he was past his prime and that he should have called it a career right next to Maltby, but I am more than happy to get the old “STFU” treatment from him as much as I have been getting lately. He’s playing much, much better than the 4 points may say, and I don’t care how much crow he makes me eat.

Kindl (0-0-0): One of 2 pointless Red Wings, he’s currently in the highest pressure situation of his career. Forced into the lineup by Stuart’s broken jaw, he’s 100% in a put up or shut up position right now. He needs to show that he deserves a spot on future Red Wings rosters, or quietly go away. I have no personal feeling for him as a player, I wouldn’t rather see him stay more than see him leave and vice versa. He’s just an entity on the Wings right now, but I’d love for him to make my mind up for me.

Mursak (1-0-1): One of the up and comers for the Wings from Grand Rapids, I really like what I’ve seen from him in the few games I’ve seen him in so far. He helps put my mind at ease knowing that if or when we get another injury string, he’s what we have coming up the pipeline. He’ll be a solid player on the big club sometime, and he doesn’t worry me at all right now as a call-up.

Janik (0-0-0): Another pointless Wing, and that goes both ways in this case. He was so completely underwhelming in his time with the Wings, his name became synonymous with “FAIL”. Coincidentally, he’s also number one on my Red Wings 2010-2011 shitlist not for playing pitiful, but for the pitiful display of pugilism he exhibited against Colorado.

Tatar (1-0-1): Just like Mursak, he was another player that wasn’t intended to be a Red Wing, but when he became one, he played like one. During his time up (sent back to Grand Rapids recently with the return of Filppula), he was more of an impact for the team than Hudler had been. Easily makes it to the list of Griffins I won’t have any problems seeing wearing the Winged Wheel.

The Goalies

This is an interesting part of the break down because while both are sitting behind 2.7 GAAs, one is having a renaissance year, while the other is having an “is-he/isn’t-he?” sophomore season.

Howard (22-7-3): Leading the league in wins and single-digit losses seems a little strange for a player allegedly in the throes of a sophomore slump, but the fact of the matter is that this somewhat qualifies for the old/young goaltender. We know he has better play in him, and while we haven’t seen it at all times, he’s still playing well enough to put up statistics that rival the majority of All Star goalie selections.

Osgood (5-3-2): Winning 50% of his starts, and putting up an absolute gem of a game to positively steal win number 400 in his career against none other than Colorado, he had been a pleasant surprise to the 2009-2010 Ozzie naysayers and a pleasant return to form to the 2009-2010 Ozzie backers. How will he play when he returns from his groin surgery? Is this going to be the last we see of him? Is this going to be the last we see him playing at this level? I hope this isn’t the way he closes his career, in the middle of a ‘is he even good enough’ controversy, on top of his ever-present HOF controversy.

Think I hit the nail on the head? Think I should just delete this post and quit blogging forever? As always, comments are appreciated.

Actually, comments are kind of desperately wanted.

NYI = New Years Idiocy

2011-01-01T00:04:00.001-05:00

This post is going to be short, unstructured, and random.

So, in other words, just like the rest of this blog.

The first period of this game started just like it should have, with the Wings running around making the Islanders look silly. The first line was pressuring. The second line was pressuring. The third line was pressuring. And the 5th line was pressuring.
Yep. The 5th line.

Usually, when a team has so many injuries that you have to call up AHLers, it never bodes well for a team. However, with the Wings' roster being managed by Ken Holland and coached by Mike Babcock, the Griffins playing for us right now have looked good. Sometimes, it's an invisible kind of look. Like Mursak. He's been good enough to not look like an AHL player called up out of necessity. He has been better so far in his first few games with the Wings than certain players named Hudler looked in their first few games with the Wings this year. He hasn't been flashy or great by any means, but he's played well enough to not be a liability. And that's an extremely good thing for someone in his position.

And then there's Tatar. He, to me at least, looked downright GOOD tonight. He looked like he belonged on the big club. He was speedy, he was meshing with his linemates, and he ended up tying the game with an intentional/unintentional redirect when the team really needed it.

Where was this last year when half of the team with the Winged Wheel on their chests were fresh out of Grand Rapids and perhaps the nearest roller hockey rink? Where was the solidly quiet defensive responsibility and slightly above average offensive upside?

Has that extra year of development (you know, the kind of development the Wings have long believed in) made that much more of a difference?

Either way, I'm cool with it.

As for the rest of the game...
fuck the rest of the game.

Welcome to the NHL, where the only consistency in the officiating is the inconsistency.

First things first, before we go into OT territory... I have a hard time believing that LOLoson didn't do anything warranting some sort of penalty after Flip's goal. Running his mouth to the ref, throwing the net off it's moorings, then yapping a bit more at the refs after getting pulled for the extra skater right afterwards. Nothing exhibited there is unsportsmanlike? Bull. Fucking. Shit. He threw a huge bitch fit because his own player pushed Bertuzzi into him, resulting in a goal, and somehow got away with all of it. That's something that's going to bother me about this game for a while because I've seen players get called for more for doing less.

Maybe we don't even go to overtime if something gets called there. But since nothing was called and we did go to overtime, we were treated to extra hockey, where the best aspects of Gary's NHL were put on display...

I know we Red Wings fans are often given shit for crying foul when the refs don't call things the way we want. The main difference between us Red Wing fans and fans of nearly every other NHL team is that we know what the hell we're talking about, so the way we want things is the way things SHOULD be done.

I have no doubt that if the tables were turned in overtime, with an Islander in front of Yimmy on a power play getting his stick intentionally slashed and incidentally broken by a Wing who got away with it, we'd still call it a bullshit non-call. But with things as they are now, we're going to look like whiners because we got hosed and the refs took the extra OT point from us and basically gave it right to the Islanders.

There is no way in Hell you can tell me that the Wings don't score against the ISLANDERS in a 5-3 situation. Not with the way momentum had been swinging. Assuming it even gets that far.

How do we even know that Franzen doesn't score or in some other way contribute to a goal if he has a legal, whole stick in his hand during the last exchange? Who's to say that Z takes his "penalty" if Franzen is able to go into the corner and fight for the puck?

And can I just say that this has got the be the first time I've ever seen a professional hockey team direct their professional hockey player to hide behind the net for 16 seconds because they're that afraid of getting burned in a 3-on-3 situation. Going from their 1-1-3 defensive scheme to that 'cowering puppy' ploy in overtime, the Islanders have got to be the biggest pussy team in the NHL.

The Red Wings were the only ones on the ice all night with any sort of pride, professionalism, or class.

2010-12-17T15:37:00.001-05:00

New pledge- $1 for every Cleary or Franzen point until pledges close.

Stephanie's Game Recap

2010-11-24T22:00:00.001-05:00

I asked Stephanie to write up tonight's game recap. This is what she provided me. None of this was actually meant to be posted, but she has not given me anything other than this. So this is what you're getting.

"Tonight's game was truly one of high quality. The Wings came to win, and they played like it, too: they capitalized on every opportunity, played seamlessly, and were at the top of their game throughout every period."

"I CAN'T. I HAVE NOTHING. THERE IS NOTHING TO BE SAID. TONIGHT'S GAME CAN BE SUMMARIZED IN ONE WORD: CRAP. THAT'S ALL OF THE ELOQUENCE THAT I CAN POSSIBLY MUSTER. ATLANTA PLAYED LIKE THEY WANTED TO WIN, AND THE WINGS DIDN'T. IT'S AS SIMPLE AS THAT. THE WINGS WERE FLAT. THERE WAS NOTHING. NOTHING.

Caps totally necessary."

And the Tweet Goes On...

2010-11-18T01:57:00.001-05:00

You see what I did there? I rhymed 'beat' with 'tweet'...

The Wings won another game tonight. This time snatching an overall poorly played game from the young, upstart, 'contenders for the Central' Blues.

The first few periods were, according to what I've been reading and hearing, disappointing. I did manage to see Yimmy's brilliant skate blade kick save to close out the first, but then I was distracted by silly little things like random shit online and throwing out/packing my belongings for my trip back to Michigan on Friday. My feed went out for a while and I just let it sit like that for a good chunk of time during the second while other pressing matters were still at hand.

Fortunately, the Wings not only came out in the third looking determined to win the game, but over a span of 4 minutes, they proved once again why they're the best team in this league when they get clicking. This is not a team you want to have an off night against. This is not a team you want to have an off period against. Or, like tonight, this is not a team you want to have an off 5 minutes against.

Yimmy is good enough of a goaltender to keep the Wings in games they should be losing. And the Wings are deadly enough that they can embarrass you for taking just one shift off.

Hell, this might just be the strategy. Only play 5 minutes worth of a game. That way, when the playoffs come, while every other team has played 82 games, the Wings will theoretically only have played 16.4 games.

HOWEVER,
there were more important things that happened tonight for the Red Wings.

Actually it was more like for one Red Wing.

But really, it was for me.

Dan Cleary, my boy -and apparently my sock puppet- scored yet again. Not just once, either. Twice. One being your tie breaking, game winning goal. Here's a running update for you:

SEASON TOTALS: 9G, 5A, +5, 41 SOG

Before my tweet: 1G, 4A, -2, 23 SOG

After my tweet: 8G, 1A, +7, 18 SOG

I, admittedly, was terrified that my last post was going to be a jinx. I was going to hate myself forever and for eternity if, after posting that, he came out and laid a big fat goose egg. But, I did do a little research (you know I love that research) and found he had about 22 points in about 50 games in his career against the Blues. So I felt a little better about posting it. And he rewarded my confidence in him with a great game again. He is the anti-Dennis Nedry to my John Hammond. I love that man.

Why I'm Responsible For Cleary's Streak

2010-11-15T22:47:00.001-05:00

Okay, first things first. Go back to the second entry I ever posted on this blog. Too lazy to do that? I'll help you out. 3rd paragraph, 5th sentence:

I was a Cleary fan his first season with us, before he got awesome.

Yes. I am an obnoxious OG Cleary fan. And I will usually take every opportunity to let you know that. But, there are times that it pans out for the better. And times when it makes me look like I actually know what the fuck I'm talking about when it comes to hockey in general and the Red Wings specifically.

And wouldn't you know it, we are currently right smack dab in the middle of one of those times. My boy Dan is riding a 5 game, 6 goal scoring streak. The best of his career. Also in the midst of a 7 game, 10 point streak.

Hockey players are fickle creatures. They get hot and go cold for only God knows what reason. Far be it from me to claim to be a God, but I am here tonight to tell you just why one player has the hot hands these days.

On November 3rd, the Wings were playing a game against the Calgary Flames. At 7:11 pm PST, approximately 13 minutes or so into the game, I said "Cleary's player of the night so far." With about 2 minutes left in the game, he did something that escapes me now, but prompted me to say "There's Cleary again. Best player on the team tonight."

And what happened after that game? Keep in mind, he only had 1 assist in the game.

Yeah.
I screen capped that shit.
You know why? Because he's my boy and I CALLED THAT SHIT. And I planned on doing this bragblog a while back.

But I didn't. I kept my gloating reserved to slight little tweets here and there. Nothing major, nothing really of note. Now, those of you who follow me and actually read the bullshit I put up on Twitter might know that I'm bound to just spout out silly little things that don't really mean anything in the grand scheme of things. This time, though, one of those 'silly little things' just so happened to turn into a fucking prophecy.

Nostradamus up in this bitch.

That's me. At 9:47 pm PST (that picture above is in EST, by the way), saying to expect big things out of Cleary. That was on the 3rd. Right after that 1 assist performance against Calgary. November 3rd.

Two days later, the Wings played Edmonton. How's my boy do? 1 goal, 1 assist, +2, 3 SOG.
The next day, the Wings played Vancouver. How'd Cleary do in the loss? 1 goal, no assists, -1, 2 SOG.
On the 8th, we came home and faced Phoenix. Cleary? 1 goal, still no assists, +1 rating, 5 SOG.
The next game, an Edmonton rematch, and how'd 11 perform? 2 goals. No assists. +2. 3 SOG.
Against Colorado, just 2 days ago? Clears scored another goal, no assists, was +1, and had 2 SOG.

Here, let me break this down for you.

SEASON TOTALS: 7G, 5A, +3, 38 SOG

Before my tweet: 1G, 4A, -2, 23 SOG

After my tweet: 6G, 1A, +5, 15 SOG

Before I opened my mouth, he was shooting at a 4% rate. Since I said something, he's shooting 40%. Goals in 5 straight games. Before that, he hadn't scored since the season opener against Anaheim.

Is it a little cocky for me to take credit for this?

Yes, yes it is. Very much so.

Is that going to stop me?

Not a chance.

Lord help me if this post is a jinx.

NHL Refs Get It Right For Once...

2010-11-06T02:56:00.000-04:00

...Right in the fucking face, that is.

Writer's Block, Wings Win Tonight.

2010-11-04T03:20:00.000-04:00

The Wings won tonight in Calgary. Writer's block won tonight in California.

This is really all I got right now.

A Win's a Fucking Win

2010-10-17T01:14:00.000-04:00

So the fucking Red Wings just won a fucking overtime game against the fucking Coyotes. Once a-fucking-gain, the Wings seemed to fucking lack some sort of fucking intensity or fucking motivation until the last fucking minute.

I watched the fucking game with a nagging fucking migraine, so I didn't take any fucking notes and sometimes zoned out, so this write-up isn't going to be all that fucking great. That having been said, here we fucking go:

The power play just looks fucking fucked these days. Sure, Kronwall has scored 2 fucking goals with the fucking man advantage in the last 2 fucking games, but on the season, the team's something like 4 for 1fucking36. Which the fucking caliber of players on this fucking team, sending a man to the fucking box against us should be a fucking automatic fucking goal like it used to seem a few fucking years ago.

And how the fuck many times am I going to have to fucking mention late fucking goals this season? Yet another goal was scored tonight with less than a fucking minute on the fucking board. Seriously, what the fuck? Did someone forget to tell the team that fucking hockey games are played in three twenty minute fucking periods? Not nine-fucking-teen. This is a fucking problem that needs to be fucking fixed ASAP.

One thing I did fucking like was how Patrick Fucking Eaves played tonight. Yeah, the silly fucker took a penalty, but he also fucking drew one, not that it fucking helped, but you know. AND SPEAKING OF DREW... Drew Miller fucking fucked Eaves up at one point of the game, which I immediately fucking called the fucking check of the fucking game. But going the fuck back to fucking Eaves, I liked his fucking play today, I liked his fucking hustle, I liked his fucking grit. He was fucking credited with the first fucking goal tonight for a little fucking while, but the fucking goal ended up being given to Pavel "Don't Fuck With Me" Datsyuk. But it was all because Eaves' fucking hustle and following up what looked to be a broken fucking play.

Other than that, the fucking team looked pretty fucking average out there. Sloppy fucking passing, missed fucking assignments, and not being able to stay on their fucking feet because the ice was all fucked. Just like the fucking Colorado game, they looked content to just get a fucking point, maybe two out of the fucking deal. This isn't going to fly for very fucking long.

But because I fucking say things like this, I'm not a fucking fan, apparently.

I've Seen Better

2010-10-13T01:09:00.000-04:00

Well, don't I just look silly now.

I was so confident about this game, and we just go and lay a turd on center ice in a shootout. However, if you want to be the optimistic type, we did get $50 pledged to H2H2 AND still got a point at the same time. If that's not win-win, it's at least win-overtimeloss. So there's THAT.

Now let's dig into the game a little bit. That second line was still the deadliest line in the entire LEAGUE tonight, with (my boy) Franzen netting 2 goals with Filppula and Bertuzzi contributing to the cause. When that line is playing full charge, I don't think anyone can stop them. We saw what this line could do in Game 4 of the San Jose series, and I think I can speak for the whole of Hockeytown when I say that I'm relieved they haven't really lost that chemistry. We could have used a little more tonight, but this makes 2 straight games that someone on that line has had a multi-goal game.

Someone on the opposite end of that spectrum would be Doug Janik. That fight... really. If I'm Janik tonight, I'm calling everyone involved with Fight Night and personally apologizing for the sad display I put on out there. Looking like that much of a bitch in a fight against an Av, that's grounds for a public flogging in my book. And knowing that Darren McCarTHY was watching in the Versus studio just makes it worse. Speaking of McCarTHY... you can't really fault the guy on Versus for calling him that. It's not like Darren spent his entire playing career with his last name plastered across this back. OH WAIT. He did.

Pardon me while I go off on an elitist rant for a second. Calling a player by the wrong name is inexcusable unless it's one of those names that looks like the last spoonful of alphabet soup left in the bowl. These people have their names on their jerseys, and I know you fuckers have stat sheets and shit sitting in front of you. Now, maybe the educational system in America isn't what it used to be, but simple reading skills are one of the very first things I learned when I was growing up. It's not as hard to figure out how to pronounce these names as they seem to make it look. Then again, it IS harder when you're throwing random fucking letters in all willy-nilly. (LiNdstrom, McCartHy)

Okay, climbing down off of my soapbox... This game has put me squarely in the So-Sodano camp for now. He has to earn his way out of my doghouse after a game like this. He was a -3 tonight. I feel he was directly responsible for the Dupuis goal, flubbing the puck at the Av blue line and turning it over. If this is more of what were going to see from him this year opposed to the scoring-on-his-first-shot Mikey Mo we shit our pants over against Anaheim, I'm going to be unhappy. Very unhappy. The good news is we have kids that we can put in if he keeps up like this. When Abby gets back from his ribs, I say he takes over for Modano unless Mike proves he's not going to be a liability like tonight. I feel that the 4th line is looking too good right now to pull someone out just beause someone else is healthy. You have to pull someone who deserves to be pulled. Right now, I'd say it's Modano.

You might remember that last year, I had an H2H pledge for goals scored by defensemen below the top of the circles. Tonight, I noticed that was the trend again. Kronwall had a couple really good chances from the slot that he just couldn't put on the board, Stuart had a few deep chances, and I think Lidstrom clanked one off the post from inside the left circle.

They were good chances, and I'm not knocking the strategy completely, but it seemed to be too much of the gameplan and we completely abandoned the idea of point passing and moving the puck to open passing and shooting lanes. We probably could have used some movement and confusion seeing as Colorado seemed to be in the way of EVERY shot we took ever. I mentioned in the pregame post that Colorado had given up 38 shots in both of their first two games. It looks like they might have worked on that a little bit in preparation for the game tonight. And it looks like it worked because they were definitely clogging the lanes out there tonight.

Maybe it was just because Serven mentioned it, too, but it looked like most of the night, the offense was only using half of the offensive zone, trying to keep things deep. Maybe Budaj is a poor lateral mover, so that was the strategy... I don't know, I didn't write the scouting report on him. All I know is we lost tonight so I'm bitter, critical, and riding a high horse that's standing on a soapbox.

And, BOY, we all love those shootouts, don't we.
Yeah...

No.
I know there have been countless comments about how we need to take it out of the game and come up with a better way to break ties. And it looks like someone on the Wings agrees, because it looks like they completely took it out of their game. Did they even practice that at all over the summer or in training camp?
To be fair, the Wings beat Budaj at least 4 times but just went wide or hit the post or couldn't elevate the puck. That was a game we should have won. Not in regulation, but we should have taken that second point in the shootout. That was the only part of the game we played well enough to deserve that second point. If ONE of those four shots that Budaj missed goes in, Jimmy's playing well enough at the other end to seal the deal. It never should have gotten to Yip, and Yip shouldn't have scored.

Maybe it's just me, but the way the guys played tonight, they seemed content to just scrape a point away. There was no urgency when momentum was on thier side after a goal and there was no aggression when Colorado scored and we needed a good counter-punch to bring them down a peg or two. And there seemed to be a sense of complacency that led to a few goals. I mentioned Ozzie has always had a tendency to let in the late goal after that Chitcago game. Yimmy got hit twice with that tonight.

Overall, we're lucky to still be riding a point streak after that game. We certainly didn't play like the undefeated team we were coming into this contest.

But, there are bound to be more games like this. There are still (at least) 79 more to play. Some will be ridiculously good. Others will make this game look ridiculously good. That is hockey.

That is why we love it and it's also why we hate it.

Working the System (aka LOLZ)

2010-10-12T15:57:00.000-04:00

I got this crazy idea the other day while on the phone with my girlfriend... we were discussing the crazy things the Wings fans do, and how we can change the system in place to better help the Wings and the league out. Because we ARE the most knowledgeable fan base out there. And the DO know what's best for the league. So I propose the following idea:

If you're a blogger, or an ardent follower/reader/commenter on any one of the fine blogs the Wings fans have to offer, we all enter the NHL Draft this upcoming year. Why? We infiltrate and bring down the machine from the inside out. In order to be the NHLPA Player Rep, you have to be a player, right? SO THERE YOU GO! The pieces are all falling into place now, aren't they? So let's do this*.

One of us is bound to get picked up by Edmonton or Florida or Calgary.

*Let's not really do this

"Monday" Morning Inanities

2010-10-12T14:49:00.001-04:00

This is a Monday post because with yesterday being Columbus Day, we had work off here in the Marines. And at 4:30 last night, I started a week long vacation, so here I am, posting up in my room, pouring over stats and listening to the new episode of TP:60 and doing what I do best, which is making nothing out of nothing.

I'm looking over a couple aspects of the match up tonight. We're playing Colorado, who has given up 38 shots against in every game this season. Granted, it's been 2 games... but still. The Wings are averaging 34.5 shots per, and won both games so far, whereas Colorado has split games between Chitcago and Philly.

SPEAKING of Chitcago, apparently Toews skated the Cup out during their 15 year long ceremony the other night. You're not supposed to touch the Cup unless you win it. Skating it out after you've already played --AND LOST-- a game in a new season... You must have lost your fucking minds, Chitcago. Did you SEE what happened to us last year?! And we didn't even do anything wrong! Yet there you were, openly mocking hockey traditions, hockey superstitions, and MOST of all, the Hockey Gods.

Have fun with that.

Getting back to teams and games that DO matter, tonight will be a good night for the Wings' first line. You read it here first. The match up of Pav/Zata/Homer against Stastny/Galiardi/Stewart seems favorable for the Wings. The Colorado side is rocking an amazing cumulative -2. The Wings are a +3. That bodes well for us.

Then again, I could sit here and waste both your time and mine and type out the line-by-line matchups, but I'll take the quick way out and say this: We have the advantage. 1 v. 1, 2 v. 2, 3 v. 3, 4 v. 4, G v. G... it's all the same across the board. We have the better team, the better lines, and the better individual players. If we don't win this game, I will be shocked. And I'll put up the goals against x10 to the H2H2 pledges. Already. This early into the season. Pledges.

Now, this means one of two things. Either I'm feeling completely confident about this game, or I'm feeling completely philanthropic.

I'm taking the first option. Wings win. 5-2.

Everything in it's Right Place

2010-10-10T00:37:00.000-04:00

Yes. Red Wings hockey is back. I am back. And what better way to come back than with a Radiohead reference?

I didn't get to see much of the game against Anaheim, but I'll touch on a little bit of what I thought to be important:

Yeah... and this.

Go ahead and skip to 1:00 into it for Yimmy facewashing Perry.

THE CHICAGO GAME

There was a lot of anticipation for this game leading up to puck drop. And I don't mean since the schedule came out. I mean after everyone was already sitting in their seats, on their couches, or in front of their computers and ready to watch some hockey.
Personally, I think the Hockey Gods looked down on me and smiled because I was having issues with internet connections and finding a feed for the game for about... 46 minutes, but by the time I found a tolerable feed, it was only the national anthem. So I didn't get to (have to) watch the festivities. I lucked out.

As for the game, hell, as for the season, that second line looks BRUTAL. They have 8 points this season. A collective +6 rating. 15 shots on goal. 2 game winners in 2 games. I know myself and a few other bloggers and knowledgeable people were coming into this season expecting big things from a healthy Franzen, a Filppula who's overdue for a breakout season, and a Bertuzzi who may or may not care (or even know) that he's often depicted as a glitter-kitten eating She-Tuzzi villian 'round these parts. And so far, they have not let us down. I am hereby declaring that line the BFF line. Because it's their initials and stuff, but also because it's a commonly used acronym and... yeah...

I do believe I'm down in the record as having been, and continuing to be Pro-Tuzzi. I even predicted his big Game Seven performance back in the Phoenix series last season, which then led to to proclaim the day to be TuzzDay, which was really gutsy of me considering it was already a Tuesday. But the point is I went out on a limb and he didn't let me down. He's working some sort of something with the boys on the second line, and it's working. I don't know if it's the pre-game glitter snooters or the intermission Patrick Eaves puppy sacrifices, but he seems to have his shit in gear this year. In my eyes, at least. Which is all that really matters since I'm the only one posting things here anymore.

Wait, I never did have co-writers, did I? Well, now would be a good time to hang up a Now Hiring sign or something.

At one point in the first period, Eaves and Miller blocked shots within a span of 5 minutes and I thought to myself "Self, you've been a supporter of those two for that exact reason for a while." And it's true. Back when they were resigned in the offseason, I posted this:

Both players stick out in my mind from the past season for their willingness to put their bodies on the line to block shots and passes. This is one of those intangible factors that don't really show up on the back of hockey cards (do they still make hockey cards?), but it's one of the major keys to success on a game to game basis, and bleeding over into seasonal success.

For me, it's good to see them picking up right where they left off. Now, if they can just put a few good points on the board, that post from July is going to make me look like I actually know shit.

One minor cause for concern so far in this young season is the fact that the Red Wings still have yet to score a power play goal at the same time they get a shot on goal. Fil scored a PPG tonight, but let's not shit ourselves. He didn't score that goal as much as Turo let it in. It wasn't a good shot. It wasn't even a whiffed shot. I even say that it wasn't even a shot, but I'm not a statkeeper. I'm a Marine. And we're not known for our popular opinions. I know someone reading this has got the means to get Babbles on the horn and fix some shit.

The great Ozzie/Howard debate might flare up again this year. We thought that was put to bed last year. And Yimmy coming out with a shutout is a good start for him. But in the Chicago game, I thought Ozzie looked good and solid. He's always had an issue with late and weak goals, and this was no different. But in the third period, when Chicago was on a 36 minute straight man-advantage streak, he came up as big as he needed to be. He didn't make any jaw dropping saves, he didn't stone anyone on a break away, so it came across as kind of quiet. But he had positioning and angles down, so he didn't have to be flashy. He made his saves, hung on to the puck, got faceoffs, and eased the pressure quite well. If I'm a goalie in this organ-i-zation right now, I'm real happy with my start. Either one.

To sum things up: The offense is looking good. The defense is looking good. The goalies are looking good.
And Little Brother just got their banner raising pissed on by the superior team.

It's been far too long. But now everything is in it's right place.

A Comeback For the Ages

2010-09-03T23:43:00.000-04:00

So, I've missed quite a lot of the goings on with the Red Wings since things have taken a turn for the... something. Better, worse, whatever it is. My last post was when Ilya Kovalchuk signed the first of what appears to be 17 (and counting) contract proposals. Helm was unsigned, Abdelkader was unsigned, and the Pro/No-dano debate was still well under way.

Now, instead of trying to write a mega-post to try to play catch up with all the news, which would take an enormous amount of time reading, researching and writing, I've decided to just let everything that has happened be and focus on the future and what I can cover in a timely manner.

As of right now, I'm not aware of any major happenings occurring with the team, so I'm going to do what all the good writers out there do when there's a lull in the action. I'm going to make my own news. And in keeping with that methodology, I'd like to take this time now to make a major announcement.

Today, September 3rd, 2010, I hereby announce my 100% guaranteed attendance at H2H2.

Make of that what you will.

Kovalchuk. Okay.

2010-07-20T02:38:00.002-04:00

Your turn, Modano.

Mostly so we can get Abdelkader and Helm under contract.

NHL Cupcakes

2010-07-15T17:43:00.002-04:00

Personally, I couldn't care less what started the NHL Cupcake hashtag meme, but apparently it has something to do with the Islanders. What mattered to me was the enormous influx of other people's humorous takes on what certain players, teams and concepts associated with the NHL would be like in an actual, anthropomorphic cupcake form.

What resulted, for me at least, was 3 straight hours of coming up with my own NHL cupcakes.

There are literally hundreds, maybe thousands, of other NHL cupcake ideas, some of which have been highlighted over at Wings Win, Eh? which you can read here.

This list is all of the ideas I came up with during my little marathon session.

The Shoot-Out cupcake: people liked it at first, but now they've had way too many and it just sucks.
The Martin Havlat cupcake: used to have icing, but Kronwall knocked it all off.
The Bob Probert cupcake: all sold out, and will be sorely, dearly missed.
The Fernando Pisani cupcake: makes you shit your pants.
The Larry Aurie cupcake: haunts you after you decide not to serve with with your best cupcakes.
The Ilya Bryzgakldshglaoc cupcake: you have a hard time ordering it, but is pretty cheap and it's actually an alright cupcake.
The Pavel Datsyuk cupcake: steals the toppings from all the other cupcakes.
The Ilya Kovalchuk cupcake: should be good if someone actually buys the damn recipe already.
The Eastern Conference cupcakes: the best is only about half as good as the Western conference's best cupcake.
The Detroit Red Wings cupcake: everyone else hates it just because it's better than their cupcakes and they can't have it.
The Jimmy Howard cupcake: might have taken 6 years to make, but thank god it was as good as it was.
The Brett Lebda cupcake: tastes like rum raisin. Minus the raisin. And minus the cupcake.
The Todd Bertuzzi cupcake: used to be good, but you ate it at breakneck speed. Now it's not so great.
The Chicago Blackhawks cupcake: customers only know they're there when a good batch is made.
The Sidney Crosby cupcake (part 4): only tastes good when the other cupcakes around it taste good.
The Derek Boogaard cupcake: way too pricey when all you wanted was a whisk to beat some eggs with.
The Staal cupcakes: how many are they going to make?!
The Mike Modano cupcake: might be a good addition to your dessert, but if not, you're probably good with what you already have.
The Darren McCarty cupcake: looked really hard to eat, but was surprisingly sweet.
The Atlanta Thashers cupcake: really just a Chicago Blackhawks cupcake in a different wrapper.
The Stan Bowman cupcake: hardly even a cupcake anymore, because he can't read Dale Tallon's recipe.
The Gary Bettman cupcake: even after you complain about the Referee cupcake, maintains it's the best cupcake out there.
The NHL Referees cupcake: I'd like to tell you how they taste, but they're too damn inconsistent.
The Ken Holland cupcake: he makes it with a bunch of random ingredients no one else wanted to use, and still tastes great.
The Sidney Crosby cupcake (part 3): has no taste at all in the presence of the Henrik Zetterberg cupcake.
The Rick Tocchet cupcake: how much do you want to bet that it'll be delicious?
The Nick Kronwall cupcake: keep your head up while you eat it, or you may end up unconscious.
The Sidney Crosby cupcake (part 2): disappears in Jimmy Howard's catching glove.
The Todd Bertuzzi cupcake: don't blame the cupcake if it tastes bad, Marc Crawford made it that way.
The Johan Franzen cupcake: just when you think you're about to finish it off, it scores 4 goals on you.
The Jonathan Ericsson cupcake: it's really big and hot, but it just isn't really that good.
The NBC cupcake: you never want to eat it, but sometimes you just have to, and you always end up hating it.
The Nick Lidstrom cupcake: has no icing on it, because no one can top it.
The Pavel Datsyuk: It's never where you thought you left it and ends up behind you.
The Red Wings Cupcake: even without half of it's ingredients, it's still better than most of the cupcakes out there.
The Kris Draper cupcake: really wishes the goalie cupcakes were doughnuts.
The Sidney Crosby cupcake: Should just be a cake, it didn't do anything to earn a Cup.
The Gary Bettman cupcake: You pay over $7 milion for it, and tastes like Sidney Crosby's balls.
Detroit Red Wings cupcake: you get 11 in the same time it takes to make 4 Chicago Blackhawks cupcakes.
The Vile Leino cupcake: Was supposed to be really good, but got bitter after you ate a few better cupcakes first.
The Mikael Samuelsson cupcake: You tried to eat it in Detroit, but it kept missing your mouth.
The Gordie Howe cupcake: Will always be better than the Wayne Gretzky cupcake, no matter what.
The Kovalchuk cupcake: Probably would be really good, but it's too expensive to even try to eat.
The Kyle Wellwood Cupcake... wait... where'd they all go?!

How to Solve Chicago's Salary Cap Issues

2010-07-13T04:08:00.001-04:00

I'm feeling a little generous lately. Watching the debacle that is the Chicago Blackhawks' salary cap situation got me feeling sorry for them, so me and a few budding capologists compiled a list of the best ways to solve the problems heading into the upcoming season. If you've got a few ideas that aren't on the list, leave them in the comments section, or drop me a line over on Twitter and I'll get them to Stan Bowman.

So without further ado, here are the options to fix Chicago's salary cap troubles:

Bake sale every 2nd Sunday of the month. (I hear Marian Hossa makes a pineapple upside down cake that is to die for.)
Hold a monthly bottle drive to pay players under the table, lessening their cap hits. (Take these forty million bottles to the store, will you?)
Restructure contracts providing 18 players playing for free each year. (We'll pay you next year, we swear!)
Identity fraud to pass stars as AHL call-ups (Shmantii Shmiemi who?)
Naming the arena after free agents to lessen their salary (Kovalchuk-Modano Arena, anyone?)
Also, sell the ad space on the boards to players (Imagine Slava Kozlov getting checked into his own board ad. Hilarious!)
Renting players on a per game basis. (Don't bother buying a jersey.)
Organize an 20-piece team band and book battle-of-the-band gigs on off nights. (Rookies carry the veterans' guitar cases now.)
Dressing only 2 lines per game. (Your TOI league leader, Patrick Sharp, averaging 43 minutes a game.) [Andy]
Opening an Official Chicago Blackhawks Etsy page. (Buy a Patrick Kane charm bracelet, complete with 2 dime charms.) [Lola]
Borrowing players from the NBA's Atlanta Hawks. (I'm sure Gary's still got David Stern's number on speed dial and would allow it.)
League wide key party. (Hey, you pulled Hjalmarsson's key after all, San Jose!)
Rent the "Day(s) With the Cup" out to the other members of the Atlanta Thrashers. (I mean, who doesn't want to see Evander Kane with the Cup instead of Patrick Kane?) [Tom]
Auction players out for dates with bidding women, or men... (Hey, depending on how the date goes, that bonus doesn't count against the cap next year!) [Cath]
Register as a 501(c)(3) tax exempt religious organization. Change uniform to saffron robes and require all players to go bald. (On the plus side, no extra penalties for not tying it down in a fight!) [Christine]
Along with that ...accept charitable donations and sell cult pamphlets in airports for extra cash. (Isn't that how they got most of their 'fans' this year, anyway?) [Christine]
Pay players in Chicago style deep dish pizza. (May be counter productive due to condition coaches' raises, though.) [Andy]
Instead of Santas working for Salvation Army, they could put Vince Vaughn on the street ringing a bell next to the kettle. (The fake Santa beard is about as genuine as their playoff beards will be this year.) [Marlon]
Put Liz's dad in net for $100 bucks and a deep dish. (Fuck your league minimum, that's an expensive pizza!) [Liz]
Relocate to Osaka, Japan, one of their sister cities. (What's your CBA say about yen, Gary?!)
"The Official Chicago Blackhawks Lemonade Stand" (Just don't let Patrick Kane be the cashier.) [Marlon]
NOT signing Derek Boogaard to a 6.6 million dollar contract over 4/5 years. (There's not really any better punchline that I can come up with...) [Marlon]
Wearing Penguins jerseys and getting a blind eye from Gary. (Also saves money on Halloween costumes!) [Pete]
Step one: Call MacGyver. Step two: Give him some gum, a stapler, a fax machine, and a copy of the CBA. (Assuming they can afford all those supplies) [Kris]
Sign the members of the band Chicago. (I'll take "Baby, What a Big Surprise" over "Chelsea Dagger" any day. And that's how we'll all feel when they score.)

HATE (pt II)

2010-07-10T15:57:00.001-04:00

So, a few months back, I was asked my opinion on why I thought the Red Wings were so hated among the fans of the other teams in the league by Jenn from Hockey Blogette for an article she was working on. What I wrote in response basically grew into another post of it's own.

However, somewhere along the line, things got mixed up, people got busy, and it just stayed in a folder on my desktop, fading into nothingness.

This is my response, my personal reasons and feelings why the Red Wings get so much hate from outside of Hockeytown.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why do hockey fans hate the Red Wings?

I can come up with three solid, equal ideas. Some people fall into all 3 categories. Some only fall into 1. Ignorance, jealousy, and pride.

Ignorance: This is the reason I think is most applicable to the fans who hate the Red Wings. These are the fans who like their team, but don't like hockey. These are the fans who don't know the ins and outs of the game, let alone the business behind it. They think that the Red Wings are the New York Yankees of hockey. They saw the big free agent signings and the wins that came along with it and assume that the Red Wings were out buying Cups. They didn't bother to look into the deals and the inner workings of the organization to see what was really going on. They didn't see the pay cuts players took to open salary room to get the free agents to sign. And they didn't see the players ignoring larger, more lucrative contracts from teams on the bottom rungs of the NHL ladder and making less money all for a chance to win the Cup.
They never looked into our draft picks and saw that a lot of the major cogs of the dynasty were put in place by smart, tenacious scouting and excellent drafting. They never saw the trades made to bring in low key role players.
All they saw was the superstars raising the Cup.
Another major reason I think that the Wings are hated by pseudo-fans due to ignorance is because they so often get put in their place by Red Wings fans. They open their mouths in the playoffs or on message boards online-- and Red Wings fans, who are far more knowledgable, often shut them up. They like to pick out the trivial, useless things and try to attack the Wings and their fans using them. Wings fans don't back down once you call them out, so they often get labeled as "assholes" or "pricks" and that translates over to the team itself. Even if the Detroit supporters are polite, tactful, and receptive, they still get put down because they so effectively crush the dreams and spirit of the other fans. So Detroiters and the Red Wings all get thrown under the bus.

Jealousy: When the Red Wings have won more Cups in the past 20 years than some teams have playoff game wins, fans are going to get jealous. They're going to be angry that their teams just can't bring it all together like the Red Wings can. They're going to kind of revere the Red Wings, but they don't know how to show it. They get so much respect for the Wings and what they've done for the past 2 decades that it festers inside of them and turns into a hate.
Like the way you hate your neighbor for buying that nice new car or the beautiful addition he puts on his house. You wouldn't hate him if you knew how to do what he was doing right and could do it for yourself. If there was more parity in the league, the Red Wings wouldn't have so many haters.

Pride: There are, believe it or not, true fans of the other teams in the NHL. Usually, they're quiet and reserved because, well, they don't have much to cheer about. And that's because the Red Wings always put a good old fashioned ass whooping on them. They get so tired of having their teams' seasons ended or just being embarrassed by the Red Wings that they have no choice but to hate them. To them, the Wings are like that drunk guy at the party that comes in and pukes on the new couch and starts a fight. Everyone's having a good time, and then the Wings come in and spoil the mood. It's the more justified of the 3 reasons, but it still has it's ties into jealousy.

But the worst part about all of this is that the Wings are so hated across the league because they're just too good, but as soon as they slip up or don't do so great, they have all these haters digging a new grave in the hopes to start dancing on it soon.

The Red Wings literally can't win for losing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Be sure to read Jenn's full post on the subject HERE. It's far more knowledgeable and in depth than mine is.

What July Has Meant for the Wings

2010-07-08T02:25:00.004-04:00

We're one whole week into July, and thus one whole week into the NHL's free agency period. The Wings have been laying relatively low for the time being, not having signed any new faces to the team. Mike Modano aside, (we'll get to him later, trust me) there hasn't even been any big name courting.

This does not mean Ken Holland hasn't been busy. So far, he's inked Drew Miller and Patrick Eaves, both for one year, sub-one million dollar contracts. And word on the street is that he's close to signing many, if not all of our RFAs (the ones we actually want back).

I think this means a lot for this team for this upcoming season.

Why?

It's funny you should ask that, because I'm going to explain right now.

Signing 2 players isn't going to make or break a team. Any team. But this doesn't mean it's not important. This is what I see these signings meaning next season:

One of the most important things signing these two players shows to me is that our PK is going to be alright. Both players stick out in my mind from the past season for their willingness to put their bodies on the line to block shots and passes. This is one of those intangible factors that don't really show up on the back of hockey cards (do they still make hockey cards?), but it's one of the major keys to success on a game to game basis, and bleeding over into seasonal success.

Another thing I see happening as a result of these two signing is I think they're going to be even more productive on the other end of the ice, especially Miller. Miller only put up 4 goals his first year in college, following that up with 17 the next year, in one less game. Continue further into his career and you'll see that in 06-07 in the AHL, he scored 16 goals in 79 games for the Portland Pirates. In 07-08, playing again for the Portland Pirates (which was interrupted with a 3 game playoff stint with the Ducks) he put up 16 goals again, but in only 31 games. He seems like a player that grows in leaps and bounds when he gets a chance to stick to a single system or program. He really hasn't had much of a chance to prove himself in the NHL like that, bouncing back and forth from Anaheim to Portland/Iowa. Hopefully this year he can keep up the pattern he's shown in the past and light the lamp a good number of times more than this year, which wasn't too shabby at 10 goals in 66 games.
Eaves, on the other hand hasn't shown any clear cut pattern or consistency, but he seems to be doing well in the Wings' style of play. He's routinely been about a 50/50 player, with career goals and career assists sitting at 57 and 55, respectively (including college and US team stats). In the Red Wings system, he put up the 3rd highest point total of his NHL career in 10 games fewer than his highest scoring season. I can easily see Mike Babcock turning him into a 20+ goal scorer this year, something he's only done once.

Their confidence is going to be higher, leading to improved all around play. Resigning with the Red Wings shows them that they're wanted around here. They weren't just bandages here to stop the bleeding from last year's traitors --I mean free agent departures-- and injuries. This year, they're coming in with a spot on the team more than likely waiting for them, and the support of familiar teammates as well as becoming fan favorites/fakeboyfriends.

I see good, 'breakout' seasons coming for both of these guys. I just hope they don't make me eat these words later.

The Modanos and Their Fucking Flag.
As a kid growing up in Westland and watching hockey, you knew Mike Modano was from around the area. How many people knew exactly where? I did. In the neighborhood directly to the west from mine, for the entire hockey season, in the shadows of the countless Red Wing car and house flags, flew a single Dallas Stars flag. I always had a love/hate relationship with Mike Modano. I liked him for being a hometown boy. Not just in the sense of being from my own state, like the Hatchers or Rafalski, but in the sense of "I know where your parents live, and you went to high school with my aunt". I hated him because he always seemed to do well against my beloved Red Wings, and how dare you do that to the team you undoubtedly grew up watching and loving.
I have a feeling that if/when he signs with the Red Wings this year, it'll be basically the same thing. I'll love it because he'd be coming home to finish his career, and it definitely would be a heartwarming story, but at what cost? Will him signing mean another player that we've already had a spot for gets the axe? Will him signing become a liability due to his old age and unfamiliarity with the way the Wings play?
In my heart, I want him to sign, play, succeed, and everything ends sometime in early June with Lidstrom handing the Cup to him. In my head, however, the risks outweigh the rewards. But to be completely honest, I'm still completely split on how I feel about him coming to the team.

Also, in regards to our former #22: good fucking riddance, Butt Sucking Lips.

NHL Draft 2010

2010-06-25T15:26:00.002-04:00

I really wanted to update my blog for the draft, but I really don't have much of anything to say.

That's all.

HATE

2010-06-14T14:58:00.000-04:00

This is the blog I've been putting off writing for a while because I know it's going to alienate some of my friends and readers on here, but it's something that I feel very strongly about, so I have to get it off of my chest.

That having been said, if you were rooting for the Chicago Blackhawks in the Stanley Cup Finals, you might want to go to another blog and not read mine right now.

I've seen the back and forth between Red Wings fans and who they were supporting in the Finals. It looked pretty even down the middle, 50% Chicago and 50% Philadelphia. I've seen everyone try to justify their choices with this reason and that reason.
Personally, I don't see any justification for rooting for the Blackhawks while claiming to be a Red Wings fan.
I'm sorry. I just don't.

Chicago is the probably the cockiest group of players, fans and management that I've ever seen in the NHL.
How do you think you're a good team when you've sucked for so long that the league basically had to hand you good players to make you at least competitive and then subsequently hand you the Cup? How can you see that as a legitimate reason to be so cocky?

Chicago has been one of the biggest rivals/thorns in the side of the Red Wings since there were only 6 teams playing.
The intense hatred we all used to have over the Avalanche just fizzled out and faded away over the years. Colorado seems to have returned the favor. We don't hate each other anymore, and there's no real reason to. Chicago, on the other hand, has consistently chanted "Detroit sucks" at games that the Wings weren't even playing in throughout the past however many seasons. Which was a pretty lofty claim from a fanbase who's team was finishing last in the division and the conference. So now that they've won that big, shiny, silver trophy, I'm sure it's about prime time to change their tune and just embrace their success, right?
NOPE.

There's just something that stirs the doubt in my mind if you can jump ship from the classiest, best run organization in the league to the cockiest, clusterfuckiest organization.

So, yes. If you rooted for the Chicago Blackhawks in the Finals, I believe that you are less of a Red Wings fan.

Resurrected Blog (AKA Rivals?)

2010-06-11T02:50:00.000-04:00

I'm resurrecting this old blog post from January 10th of this year, so some of the references may be a little outdated. But I feel like this is a decent prequel to a blog I might write in the upcoming days that will probably alienate half of my readers, all 8 of you.

There Are More Important Controversies Within The Red Wings…

Lately, with the (impressive, unexpected, heaven-sent, over-achieving, amazing, whatever adjective you feel like throwing in yourself) play of Jimmy Howard, there’s been a lot of talk about a brewing number one goalie controversy in Detroit. Nobody within the organization has come out and admitted Jimmy’s taking the number one spot from Chris Osgood, and Jimmy still won’t talk about it like he should (as in, “Oh, yeah, I’m the man, I rule, I’m so awesome, suck on THAT, naysayers.”) But when he’s putting up stats where he’s only in the bottom of the NHL pile in PIMs (0 for 31st place) and OTLs (2/30th), and beating big-name goalies like Luongo, Kipprusoff and Nabokov and, well, Osgood in stats like GAA and SV%, I think it’s safe to assume he’s the man to beat on the Red Wings’ depth chart.

Let’s put it this way… he’s top 10 in those stats even when compared to any NHL player who’s played a game as a goalie this season. That means adding Ottawa’s Mike Brodeur’s 1 game, 1 goal against average to the list and New Jersey’s Yann Denis’ 4 game .929 save percentage. Top 10. In the entire league. In the entire position.

So now that that’s been put to bed, I think it’s time we turn our eyes to a more pressing controversy for the Red Wings and their fans.

Which team out there deserves the title of being our number one rivalry?
Which team is the one that the players and the fans circle on their calendars the day the NHL season schedule comes out and says “That’s our big game!” Which team is the team that, no matter what the standings, no matter the time of the year, you just want to see them get pummeled on the ice and on the scoreboard. Which team is going to give the Red Wings that little extra spark to their game because it’s a personal game?

Many people make a case for the usual suspects: the Ducks, the Blackhawks, the Blue Jackets, the Predators, and the Penguins of the world. My school of thought is that if there are that many viable options out there for a fan such as myself, then really, none of them are options at all.

Think back from the mid-90s to the early 2000s. Who was it then? Hands down, the Colorado Avalanche. Anyone who said otherwise was just wrong. It was such a brutal rivalry that it still lingers to this day in the hearts and the minds of the Wings faithful. Any time you see that goofy maroon and teal color combination, admit it, you still get that tightening in your stomach that makes you long for the better, bloodier days. (Oh, and according to a little research, the official team colors are “burgundy and steel blue, black, silver and white”. Whatever.)

I don’t know any team in the league right now that does that to me, or to other fans. I can’t pinpoint a team that is just so hated, that even if their nicest, most charitable, most talented player was up for free agency or on the trading block, we’d still not like him in the Winged Wheel. I can’t think of a team that when a Wings player leaves in the off-season and signs with them, it’s considered a personal slight and grounds for death or at the very least the sacrifice of their first born to make amends.

The problem with today’s Wings -and today’s NHL, actually- is that the league got exactly what it wanted when it went to the new(er) schedule format. The 6 games against inter-division teams certainly did a lot to manufacture rivalries, but the passion just isn’t there.

Yes, it’s easy to get physical when you’re playing a team that you just played last week, and now’s your opportunity to get back at their 4th liner goon for that slash on your star player near the end of the 3rd period when the game was already settled. And yes, it’s easy to build up the pressure and the atmosphere when you’re playing the team that’s just 5 points ahead of you in the standings in a home-at-home weekend series with little less than a month left in the season.

But it’s not easy to just force two teams together to the point where just the mere sight of their jersey makes you see red, where you change the channel when Sportscenter plays the highlights of that team’s latest win (HA! Like that ever happens anymore, but bear with me…), where you turn on your NHL video games and turn injuries all the way up and difficulty all the way down so you can embarrass them just the way you like it.

Calgary has Vancouver.
Boston has Montreal.
New York has… New York, I guess.

Detroit has, ummmm…

I don’t want to live in a world where I can’t go up to a fellow Red Wings fan and mention [Team X], and know that I’ll soon get a front row seat to their dark side’s emergence.

2 Years, 4 Teams, 82 Picks

2010-06-08T11:56:00.000-04:00

The past two years, the NHL has seen 4 different teams in the Stanley Cup Finals. I made the comment on Twitter the other day about sucking until you're good. I wanted to back up that statement, so all morning, I've been sifting through 10 years of drafts, analyzing and comparing. I'm only looking at the first and second round right now.

To help you read this chart, I've listed the draft year, followed by 1st round picks, then 2nd round picks, then a cumulative total of picks listed.

Detroit	Chicago	Pittsburgh	Philadelphia
1999= 0/1 0/2 (0) 2000= 1/1 1/2 (2) 2001= 0/1 1/2 (1) 2002= 0/1 2/2 (2) 2003= 0/1 1/2 (1) 2004= 0/1 0/2 (0) 2005= 1/1 1/2 (2) 2006= 0/1 3/2 (3) 2007= 1/1 0/2 (1) 2008= 1/1 0/2 (1) 2009= 0/1 2/2 (2)	1999= 1/1 2/2 (3) 2000= 2/1 1/2 (3) 2001= 2/1 1/2 (3) 2002= 1/1 1/2 (2) 2003= 1/1 2/2 (3) 2004= 1/1 4/2 (5) 2005= 1/1 2/2 (3) 2006= 1/1 2/2 (3) 2007= 1/1 2/2 (3) 2008= 1/1 0/2 (1) 2009= 1/1 1/2 (2)	1999= 1/1 2/2 (3) 2000= 1/1 1/2 (2) 2001= 1/1 1/2 (2) 2002= 1/1 1/2 (2) 2003= 1/1 1/2 (2) 2004= 1/1 2/2 (3) 2005= 1/1 1/2 (2) 2006= 1/1 1/2 (2) 2007= 1/1 1/2 (2) 2008= 0/1 0/2 (0) 2009= 1/1 1/2 (2)	1999= 1/1 0/2 (1) 2000= 1/1 0/2 (1) 2001= 1/1 0/2 (1) 2002= 1/1 0/2 (1) 2003= 2/1 0/2 (2) 2004= 0/1 0/2 (0) 2005= 1/1 0/2 (1) 2006= 1/1 3/2 (4) 2007= 1/1 1/1 (2) 2008= 1/1 0/2 (1) 2009= 0/1 0/2 (0)

Here's a quick text style breakdown:
Detroit has had 15 early round picks since 1999, only 4 in the first, and 11 in the second. (One interesting thing to note is that Kopecky, our 2nd round pick in 2000, is now on Chicago.)
Chicago has had 31 (THIRTY-ONE?!) early round picks in the same time span, including 13 first round picks. They have had nearly the same amount of first round picks as the Red Wings have had first and second round picks combined, on top of 18 second round picks.
Pittsburgh picked 22 players in the first and second rounds, 10 in the first rounds and 12 in the second.
Philadelphia rounds out the list with having only 14 first and second round picks, which is the lowest amount for any team here. But it's a very front loaded draft, with 10 picks being in the first round and only 4 picks coming in the second round.

So what does that mean?

In my eyes, it means they've been drafting Cup teams, unlike the Wings, who develop Cup winning teams.

No, I Didn't Die When the Red Wings Lost (aka Who Now?!)

2010-05-30T00:08:00.001-04:00

Yeah, I fully intended on writing a wrap-up of some sort. Either about the game 5 loss, or a season review, or at least SOMETHING instead of just letting this website atrophy in neglect.

But things happened.

Personal things happened to me, personal things happened to my best friends, things happened to my computer... A lot of things happened.

So here we are now, a full series after the Wings were eliminated from the playoffs, one game into the Stanley Cup Finals, and Red Wings Nation is in a bit of a pickle. We're not really used to having hockey without the Wings playing, and we just do not know where our loyalties need to lie now. Chicago. Philadelphia. The cons for either team definitely outweigh the pro.

So who should we really pull for now?

Do we root for Chicago, hoping to keep the Cup in the West, keep it in the division, and deal with having to hear from Chicago fans who pull their heads out of their asses long enough to say some smarmy, cocky, stupid comments?
Do we root for Philadelphia, hoping that Chicago gets theirs, knocks them down a peg, shatters their pride, but have to see Ville Leino hoist a Cup after getting it handed to him by Pronger?

Or do we just boycott the whole thing, not pay attention, and look forward to the 2 biggest days coming up, July 1st and opening day?

Well, one of the things that sets us Wings fans apart from half of the other teams' fans is that we're all legitimate hockey fans, too, so I don't think that we'll be able to just block everything out. Judging from what I saw tonight on Twitter, most of us were still watching the game (although not really tweeting as much about it as when, you know, the GOOD team plays...) and still getting our hearts -and our brains- ripped out by everything NBC chose to broadcast.

But we tough it out. Despite watching two teams we all have a solid case for hating play for the trophy that belongs to us. Despite having to put up with some of the most useless, asinine comments and "analysis" the NBC/Versus/non-FSD crews come up with. Despite having come *this* close to swearing off hockey for good about 159 times during the regular season/playoffs. We stick around.

And I'm going to to that here, too. So don't worry.

I'd Hate to Say I Told You So

2010-05-07T14:40:00.001-04:00

Last night was probably as good of a Wings game as I've ever experienced. The game was good. The company was good. And then hearing/seeing that Pittsburgh lost, too, was good.

First off, I'd like to post out here in the public domain that my good friend Caitlin's dad called the game a 6-1 win about 30 minutes before puck drop. That man needs to keep making predictions like that.

We arrived a few minutes late due to some miscommunication between some of my friends, and almost as soon as I sat down (in my Franzen jersey, no less), the goals starting coming. So, with all due respect to the Red Wings Commune, I think I'll be sitting out the next few games with you, because I've found my new superstitious hot spot.

I mentioned yesterday that I woke up feeling fine, no worries or anxiety. I BASICALLY guaranteed a win. I called out a few people for their negativity and how quickly they lost hope.

I'd hate to say I told you so, but I told you so. Let's go over my last game post and key in on a few points.

We've seen this Wings club playing at their top level, and we know that they're completely capable of looking unbeatable.

It sure looked that way last night, didn't it? I made the quip in the third period that they could give up 5 goals and we'd still win the game. That's a good feeling.

If that happens, we can probably count on the Sharks' penchant for choking to take over.

They sure seemed to unravel towards the end of that game, didn't they? Of course, the original context of the statement was in regards to winning 2 in a row. But if the Wings come out with 50% of what they came with last night, that's still a 3-2 win.

Jimmy needs to play like he's still earning his place on this team.

28 saves on 29 shots. Some of them big saves. Sounds to me like a good case-making performance in a high pressure situation. Like a bona fide starter.

Our goal scorers need to score. Score goals. This means you, Franzen, Bertuzzi.

Franzen was Franzen. Bertuzzi was... Franzen. 11 points between the 2 of them, with 5 goals. The extra 6 points were just icing on the cake. The entire rest of the team combines for 8 points.

And they need to score with their sticks.

As far as I can tell, the only video review involved in last night's game was to verify that the puck went in off of Bertuzzi, not to tell if it was a good goal or not. That's how these games need to be played.

So that's one. Great job, Wings. Really, spectacular.

Now forget about it.

Come Saturday, this win won't mean anything except another plane ride to and from California. Don't think about how you walked all over them and made them look foolish. Don't think that it's going to be that easy again. Just think about the fact that you did it. You can beat this Sharks team. If you can blow this team out of the water like that, you can definitely scrap together an ugly win if you have to. Then another one. And then another one. Until you're booking flights to Vancouver. Or Chicago.

In Defense of Tin Foil, Part I

2010-05-05T17:04:00.000-04:00

Hi.

I'm Robert Masters, writer of Etched In Cold, and apparently tin foil hat whacko nutjob #1.

You might have linked to this site from the article in the Free Press, or the link on Snapshots, and expecting to come across some delusion-driven bring Gary down rebel blog.

You'll be disappointed.

Instead, what you'll find is a blog written by a fun, silly, no-name blogger who's suddenly coming under fire from Bettman's personal Brainwash Army from all corners of the NHL world. (It's a fucking joke. Calm down.)

The Tin Foil Flash Mob was playing on the unrealistic idea that had been floating around from the fans of other NHL teams that we were all whiny conspiracy theorists who sat in basement bunkers wearing tin foil hats to avoid the NHL brainwashing, television reception be damned.
We embraced it. As a joke.
Kind of like how someone who mispronounces a word continues to use the same butchered pronounciation to poke fun at themselves, we all started referencing the need for tin foil hats whenever something suspicious happened in a Red Wings game. And it grew. The same way that internet memes and Justin Beiber have. There's no real rhyme or reason for it to become popular, but it has.

About Tuesday:
The Flash Mob was never intended to be a Mecca for Bettman haters and conspiracy theorists. It was thought up by Sara as a fun, tongue-in-cheek way to create a little buzz for the people going to the game. Hang out a little, make some new friends, and poke a little bit of fun at our selves. Maybe make a few people laugh and get a little more energy heading into the game, and maybe it would translate onto the ice.
We went there with the intent to recruit some people into the dance to Stompin' Tom Connors. Not to drink our Kool-Aid. We did it to get together and have a good time, as the Red Wings Commune often does. We did it to be a part of the pre-game atmosphere and the excitement surrounding a home playoff game.

If it was meant to be a real protest or psuedo-political movement, don't you think we would have made signs and come up with a few better chants other than the "Let's Go Red Wings" chant we started, like, "Brainwashing's scary! Down with Gary!" or something like that?

And maybe made tin foil hats that didn't blow off in the wind.

It was a joke. Simply put. To anyone who's lambasting us for what we did, you're the ones who are taking it too far. And maybe even adding a little fuel to the fire. If there weren't some underground movement to knock the Wings and their fans down a peg, why would you be so adamant to call us out for being off the mark and being nuts? Trying to throw the bloodhounds off the scent, are you? (Again, I'm kidding!)

All we've really said -as a group- is that there have been some questionable calls made in the series and over the course of the season. Yes, we'd like some consistancy, and is that too much to ask for from professionals? I can understand little league refs screwing up a call or two because they have other jobs in their life. When you're being paid to just call hockey games, maybe a little personal pride should come into play when you're working a game.

As far as being spaced out, delusional, crazy, tin foil hat donning, NHL hating Ewoks, we're FAR from that.

We're just silly people who had a silly idea and did some silly things.

The rest of you made it serious.

Check back in tomorrow for more regarding FoilGate

Well, We Won 7 in a Row Earlier This Year...

2010-05-05T04:29:00.002-04:00

Okay.

I've calmed down a little bit. I narrowly avoided doing something hasty regarding my face and a razor. I smoked a few cigarettes. I punched a few walls. I entertained the idea of drinking straight through to game 4.

And I came up with a few conclusions.

I'm not losing all hope. Momentum, she is a fickle mistress. Remember Lidstrom's red line shot in 2002 that turned the series around and eventually led us to a Cup? Things happen in sports. Things no one can foresee. To use the old cliche, that's why they play the games. And there's still a game here on Thursday left to be played. One lucky bounce or, as we saw in game 2, broken stick, and this thing could turn around quick, fast, and in a hurry.

Game 3 is really the only game that the Red Wings were truly beaten. Game 1 was close enough to be a comfortable loss. Game 2 was that horrendous PK fest.

So why should we assume that the Wings CAN'T pull off the improbable comeback?

The general idea going into this series was that the Wings could pull it off in 5 games. Well, that's where we're at now. 5 games. One already in the books. 4 to go.

We've seen this Wings club playing at their top level, and we know that they're completely capable of looking unbeatable. We know that when the game is left to the 6 guys in with sticks in their hands, they can be the best team in the league. (That may or may not have been my obligatory "the officiating sucks" statement.) What remains to be seen is if they can rattle off a string of 2 or 3 of those games and put the Sharks back on their heels.

If that happens, we can probably count on the Sharks' penchant for choking to take over.

But what needs to happen for that to come to fruition?
Jimmy needs to play like he's still earning his place on this team. Because who's to say that he's not? Will the front office give him a get-out-of-jail-free card if he plays like he did tonight? Or will they look for another veteran goaltender to help him on his way to being a bona fide starter? Hell, Nabokov's becoming a free agent this summer...

Our goal scorers need to score. Score goals. This means you, Franzen (I don't have to validate that, do I?), Filppula (no goals since game 3 against Phoenix), Cleary (just 2 points, but they're both goals), and everyone's favorite washing machine impersonator, Bertuzzi (2 goals in game seven, but only one hit the stat sheet). Get it, washing machine... spin cycle... spin-o-rama... Hey, don't fault me for trying to lighten the mood in Red Wings nation when we clearly need it. Anyway, the point is that 46% of our goals have been scored by 3 forwards. Zetterberg, Datsyuk and Holmstrom.

And they need to score with their sticks. I got into the habit today of not celebrating a goal until the puck had dropped to begin play again. Because you never know what's going to be reviewed and called back these days. I can't remember seeing as many video reviews in my LIFE as I've seen this year alone. We need good, solid, clean, legal, sure goals. Don't leave anything in the hands of an outsider.

We've seen the way this team bounced back from game 6 against Phoenix. So far, they're undefeated this year in elimination games. So, I guess statistics are on our side. Let's keep that up. Let's come out Thursday with something to prove and nothing to lose. If they do, and pull out the W, they can rebuild a little of the faith that was lost today. And just keep rolling.

You've Got Mail, San Jose

2010-04-30T20:39:00.000-04:00

I missed about 38 minutes of the game yesterday, as I was about 10 minutes away from the Hockeytown Cafe at the Hard Rock Cafe, watching my friends' band win a spot in the national finals for a spot in the Hard Rock Calling festival and to play with Pearl Jam, Stevie Wonder and Sir Paul McCartney. The rest of the confirmed line up is on that link.

What I did manage to see was somewhat impressive if you look at the big picture. The Wings were looking good in the third period, looking like they DIDN'T just finish a hard hitting, hard fought 7 game series on Tuesday. Many of the other bloggers have mentioned it, but I feel the same way, so I'll say it again.
If I'm the Sharks, that scares me.

If they can only win by ONE goal (scored on a bullshit 5-on-3), having been able to rest since April 24, they should be scared.
If the Red Wings stay close in this game WITHOUT a goal from Datsyuk or Zetterberg, they should be scared.
If the Red Wings stay close in this game WITHOUT a goal on the power play, they should be scared.
If the Red Wings... you know what? Fuck it.

We've seen how this team can bounce back from deflating losses, like the loss in game 6 and the way they played in game 7.

We knew that this series wasn't exactly going to be a cakewalk. We had hoped to maybe sneak in under the radar and steal game one from the Sharks, and we almost did. But the message was sent, and I'm pretty sure the Sharks got it. I think it went something like this:

"To the fine coaching staff and athletes of the San Jose Sharks organ-i-zation,

We would like to respectfully decline your offer to showcase your God-given talent and NHL-given advantage over us. We would also like to propose a counter offer to scrap a very respectable loss together out of a situation what would make other teams collapse faster than Brett Lebda at an open bar. Furthermore, we would like to issue the following warning:

Just you fuckers wait until Sunday.

Bitches.

Sincerely, the Detroit Red Wings organ-i-zation"

Keep your chins up, Red Wings Nation.

Revisiting the Sharks

2010-04-28T16:46:00.001-04:00

This is an old post from my first blog. Let's take some time out and enjoy the success we've had against San Jose this year.

Dismantling the Sharks.
24 days and 11 games after putting a hurting on the Sharks in their own arena, the Wings returned. And apparently the blood was still in the water. After giving up 2 goals within the first 10 minutes of the game, which I’ll just chalk up to jetlag, the Wings woke up and made the Sharks look more like the Guppies.

Consider this: 9 SOG for the Sharks in the first 9:45 of the 16-shot 1st by the Sharks. 8 SOG in the entire 2nd period, and 10 over the course of the whole 3rd period. Take out those 9 shots that occurred before the Wings collectively decided to get their shit in order, and you’re left with 25 shots on Yimmy Howard. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Comfortably familiar. Like the Red Wings of yesteryear.

For about 39 seconds in the first period, on a penalty kill no less, Kronwall was stuck out on the ice with what amounted to one operational skate. The blade on his right skate -for some reason- came off while he was applying pressure on Ryane Clowe.

I don’t think that he really got enough credit for this last night (as all of Hockeytown was freaking out about him being possibly injured again), but I checked out the video from that again and one thing jumped out at me. From his knees, and then on one skate, he kept playing. He got in passing and shooting lanes, and doing it pretty well, I might add. Definitely an underrated moment in the game last night.

I’ve been saying it, you’ve been saying it… Yimmy needs to work on his rebound control. It’s been getting better, I guess, but both San Jose goals were directly related to his inability to control the rebounds.

Kronwall tweaked his ankle in a behind-the-play little piece of interference by Ortmeyer during Cleary’s goal. I’m positive of this. Yes, he went over and did his congratulations and all that, but he bent in a way I’d feel bad doing to Gumby. He also took a while to get off the ice. I’m not certain on his ice time after that, but I’d bet all the money in my left pocket that THAT was when it happened.

Meech’s goal was that really ugly kind of pretty. It was a nice Tic-Tac-Toe-TOE goal. Williams faked the shot, dropped it to Filppula, who then draws the defense towards the middle of the ice before passing down to Bertuzzi near the goal line. Bertuzzi made the smart play and tried to get it to (my boy) Cleary. Luckily, for all of us, and especially Bert, Meech was wandering around along the side boards aimlessly and stumbled across the puck. He decided he liked the puck, and he was gonna put it in the net so he’d know where to find it later. Despite Nabokov’s best efforts at breakdancing, it went in, and we actually had a lead. Exactly 15 people felt comfortable with that lead.

How Eaves hasn’t been offered a contract extension at this point is beyond me. He’s one of our best PKers, and he’s got a knack for getting the big, timely goal. He was at it again last night, perhaps with a bit of luck and stupidity from the Sharks. I can’t find a good replay online right now, but Joe Pavelski falls down, taking Eaves down with him as Eaves tries to skate around. Eaves slid farther than Pavelski did, creating the space that led to Eaves’ wide open goal.
I’d also like to add that Rafalski’s pass on that goal was harder than Brad May’s best slapshot.
And last, Helm went for a leisurely stroll with about 15 seconds left in the game and just happened to beat every Sharks player on the ice to negate an icing with 9 seconds left. Not that an icing there would have changed the outcome of the game. Even if San Jose scored on the subsequent offensive zone faceoff, they would have needed to score another goal in what would have probably been 5 seconds against relatively rested Wings. But it was still that grit and determination that we’ve all become so enamored with from him.

Tonight is a game against Anaheim, newly equipped with Vesa Toskala and Jason Blake from the weekend’s trade with Toronto. Another late start, so if you’re not like me and actually have somewhere to go or something to do tomorrow morning, I’d recommend taking a nap now. Well, maybe take it after you finish reading this.

The questions, of course, are going to be the same they usually are: Do the Wings have enough in the tank after the game last night in the Tank? Can Yimmy control rebounds enough tonight to steal a game, or are we going to have a team playing with him tonight? Can the Wings’ defensemen score a goal from above the faceoff circles? And the last question is can you stay up and watch the whole thing?

That was from February 3rd. It also came with this lovely little photoshop I did:

'TuzzDay

2010-04-28T12:14:00.001-04:00

I might be the minority, but I think I was one of few people who weren't nervous or scared about the game last night. I chalk that up to my military training eliminating fear from my mental processes. But I also chalk it up to faith and logic.

The Detroit Red Wings are a far superior team than the Phoenix Coyotes. And Mike Babcock is a better coach than Dave Tippet. In a game like that, I'll take the Red Wings 100% of the time. They're just too good, too experienced, and too damn good looking with those beards to shave them.

Something odd happened at the Commune. About midway through the 3rd period, we all thought there was a penalty going to be called on the Coyotes. It ended up being against the Red Wings. Someone mentioned that it was weird to be so far ahead that we didn't have to pay 100% attention to what was going on. And it felt damn good.

I asked who was going to step up in the game. I made my case for Bertuzzi. I think all Red Wings fans know he scored 2 goals, getting ripped off on one for the ever-popular intent-to-blow rule. The referee who was closest to the play had a direct line of sight to the puck lying loose to Bryzgandalf's left, and Bert swooped in a buried it. And then the referee was waving it off. For whatever reason.

But going back to my question, who'd come up big? How's this for an answer: EVERYONE. I could easily go down the roster and name one moment in the game where they put it all out there on the ice. I think we could have put Ledba out there and HE would have had a big game.

However, I believe the turning point was late in the second, when the Red Wings were having a Commune of their own in the penalty box. Miller, Helm and Stuart were penaltized (Helm's being a bullshit interference/diving call) which meant 3 of our best PKers were sitting this one out. I don't remember the whole 3 man unit out there, because it looked like we only needed one guy out there. Kronwall.

I know Kronner's been getting shit this series for not playing to his caliber, to almost playing bad. But during that 5-on-3, he blocked at least 3 shots, and was just an overall presence. At that time, the score was 3-1. If Phoenix scores there, it's 3-2 with another penalty yet to kill. Even if we kill that second penalty off, momentum is shifted to Phoenix going into the intermission, and the third becomes an entirely different beast. Instead, we kill off both penalties, keep the 3-1 lead, and then speedster scoring threat Brad Stuart comes down on a breakaway and makes it 4-1 with 5 seconds left. Dagger. To the heart of the Coyote.

Who else stepped up? Our power play units. Not only did the Wings go 3/6 with the man advantage, it was almost always 2 minutes of straight pressure in the offensive zone if we didn't score. I saw the Wings switch from the 1st PP line to the 2nd PP line in the middle of a power play, without losing control of the puck. The Coyotes looked so out matched out there, I was a little embarrassed for them. They had no right to share that ice with the Wings out there last night.

And a side note from that, I'm glad we scored twice with Aucoin in the box. I've lost track of how many times he's gotten away with shit throughout the series, but it was good to finally see them burn because of him.

There's only one concern I have about this game. One last complaint. The Wings shot 50 pucks at Bryzgandalf, which is fine. But they gave up a quiet 33 shots on goal, too. Yimmy came up big. Some of those 33 shots were good, quality shots, matched by good, quality saves by Yimmy. Will yielding 33 shots to San Jose, Chicago or Vancouver do? As much as I have faith in this team and in our young goaltender, I don't think performances like that will continue to cut it.

But for now, let's enjoy the win.

Game Seven

2010-04-26T20:54:00.000-04:00

Game Seven. So important that it doesn't get a number. It's all words. Spelled out, capitalized words.

Game Sevens are never fun. We don't have the luxury of losing on a flukey goal or a terrible ref's call and thinking, "Okay, we'll bounce back and show 'em next time." There won't be a next time. We lose, and everyone starts asking questions and pointing fingers. We lose, and everyone becomes a GM and a coach. We lose, and we start blaming ourselves for the superstition we left out or the ritual we forgot.

We lose this time and we bust out the electric razors and the guitar string nooses.

The song "Nothing Gets Crossed Out" by Bright Eyes jumped into my head directly after leaving the Joe on Sunday, just for the first few lines.

"Well, the future's got me worrying such awful thoughts, my head's a carousel of pictures, the spinning never stops. I just want someone to walk in front and I'll follow the leader..."

That's got to be going through the Red Wings' heads right about now, because that's what it looked like in that 6th game. No one wanted to jump out and be the hero, the leader. Our superstars were absent. Our role players were invisible. Our goalie was sleepwalking.
Abdelkader came forth towards the end of the game, and he deserves all the credit in the world for that. He looked like the only player on that ice that was pissed off about the outcome of that game.

So who's going to come out on Tuesday, if anyone? A drunken thought came to me a few hours after the Sunday debacle.

I want Bertuzzi to come out huge. I want him to score, hit, and spin-o-rama his way to a win. I want him to silence all the critics for a while.

And if that happens, we'll immortalize the day as 'Tuzzday.

All (sort of) joking aside, I still haven't completely given up hope. The way the Wings played after that first period on Sunday, I was close. I think seeing that sort of effort in person sapped the spirit out of me more than it would have on television. Seeing open nets not get pucks buried in them (Lilja), golden opportunities fucked away (Draper), weak goals let in (Howard)... it really makes you question how and why you seemed to show up with more heart and effort than the Wings seemed to.

That having been said, I read something over at The Triple Deke that bears repeating. Because I can't say it any better myself.

If you truly think that this team doesn't give a shit, that they pick and choose which games to play hard and which ones to coast, or that you want it 50 times more than they do -- then you are a fucking lunatic. Tell that to Nik Kronwall or Andreas Lilja or Johan Franzen or anyone else who has busted their ass to recover from injuries to get back on that ice. Tell that to any of the guys that watched Crosby skate the Cup on their ice last year and had their souls crushed. I'm sure you're right; they just sleep in, dick around for a few hours and ho-hum their way through these afternoon games because they'd rather count their money. I hate to break it to you but this isn't a team full of Rasheed Wallaces. Go back and read some interviews or watch some video on some of these guys' reactions to getting knocked out of the playoffs and tell me it was because of "heart." Did Stuart fuck away a turnover because he doesn't care, or because of bad decision making? I think I'll take the latter.

I'm reading too many people who seem way too entitled as fans. The Coyotes aren't a bad team as much as you want them to be. Their coach is good. Their goalie isn't some bitch bag Russian hack because he let in one or two softies earlier this series. Give them some credit. All too often I'm seeing trash comments that those same people dog on other team's bandwagon fans for, and it's embarrassing. I can be as pessimistic as the next guy, but dammit I don't act like I'm better than the fucking team. (Except Brett Lebda.)

It's true, we've been jaded. We're too used to seeing comfortable leads and Central Division titles as Valentines Day gifts that I think we don't really realize how hard championships are to win. It's a brutal game they play, and sometimes there are going to be bumps in the road. Sometimes, the other team goes back after a loss, changes and works on strategy and comes back looking good. Just because we walk all over a team for 2 games, doesn't mean the third game is a guaranteed win. A lot of times, it's easy to --in the heat of the moment, after a game when the emotions are still running high-- to criticize the team and accuse them of not showing up. I'm guilty, you're guilty, everyone's guilty.

However...

In person, there were 2 players that seemed to stand out for good reasons: Drew Miller and Justin Abdelkader.
It seemed that all the times I noticed a good play, it was made by Miller. I remember him standing out on a power play (one of the few we killed) and getting good pressure in the offensive zone.
Abdelkader... well, we all saw him lay the clean hit on Stempniak and then stick up for himself against Shane Doan's heir to the douche bag throne Derek Morris. Then, 7 minutes later, he comes back and makes Keith Yandle his bitch, sending a message to the Coyotes.

Will the message translate into tomorrow night's game? Will 'Tuzzday actually happen? Will one of our superstars step up and be the hero, or will a role player have his big game (i.e. Helm's Kill last year)? Will Yimmy steal a game, or will the defense be stifling?

Or will we be knee deep in booze and beer bottles come Wednesday morning?

If There Were No Conferences

2010-04-12T14:46:00.000-04:00

I've mentioned quite a few times that I don't think that winning your conference should lock you into a top 3 seed. Case and point, the Pittsburgh Penguins. They have one more point, in the 4 spot, than the 3 spot Buffalo Sabres. But that's not really what this post is about. This is a breakdown of the LEastern conference's inferiority to the West.

I took all the playoff teams, complete with record and points, and stacked them all up 1-16. Using only points to organize them, this is what a 16 team bracket would look like (Note- East is Red, and West is Blue, like the All Star game) :

1 (1E) Capitals 54-15-13 = 121
16 (8E) Canadians 39-33-10 = 88

2 (1W) Sharks 51-20-11 = 113
15 (7E) Flyers 41-35-6 = 88

3 (2W) Blackhawks 52-22-8 = 112
14 (6E) Bruins 39-30-13 = 91

4 (4W) Coyotes 50-25-7 = 107
13 (5E) Senators 44-32-6 = 94

5 (3W) Canucks 49-28-5 = 103
12 (8W) Avalanche 43-30-9 = 95

6 (2E) Devils 48-27-7 = 103
11 (3E) Sabres 45-27-10 = 100

7 (5W) Red Wings 44-24-14 = 102
10 (7W) Predators 47-29-6 = 100

8 (4E) Penguins 47-28-7 = 101
9 (6W) Kings 46-27-9 = 101

Key points to think about:

Only one matchup would remain the same. Washington would get Montreal one way or the other.
Of the 8 top seeds, only 3 would be LEastern conference teams.
5 of the 6 bottom seeds are LEastern.
The West's worst team (Colorado) gets the 12 seed.
The 6th best team in the league (New Jersey) is your second best team in the LEastern conference.
3 of the 4 inter-conference match ups have a Western conference as the top seed.
In the case of Los Angeles and Pittsburgh (the only inter-conference match up with the LEast on top) they have the same amount of points, but Pittsburgh has 1 (ONE) more win.
The 3 seed in the LEast (Buffalo) wouldn't even have home ice advantage.

The average point total for a Western conference playoff team is 104.125.
The average point total for a LEastern conference playoff team is 98.25.
Take Washington's 121 points out of the mix, and the remaining 7 teams in the LEast average 95.
The West averages 102.86 points without their top team.(Well, it's actually 102.85714285714285714285714285714)
7 of 8 Western teams have 100+ points.
4 of 8 LEastern teams have 100+ points.

Quick Notes on the Calder Race

2010-04-05T19:04:00.000-04:00

Does Yimmy Howard deserve the Calder despite having waited in the Wings' wings with a few impromptu appearances in the past few years? Does his age really make that much of a difference? Does playing for the Wings make him a long shot to win [the Calder, or Vezina, or Hart] this year? Just how good are the other front runners for the Calder?

I'm sure you've all kept an ear to the ground and have heard the mumblings about why Tyler Myers, John Tavares, or Matt Duchene deserve the award more than our beloved Yimmy. I don't need to re-hash it all for you. Here's all I'm going to bring to the table:

John Tavares: 1st overall pick (2009)
Matt Duchene: 3rd overall pick (2009)
Tyler Myers: 12th overall pick (2008)
Yimmy Howard: 64th overall pick (2003)

If you're going to disqualify MY guy for belonging to a team that didn't need him right away, who had the time afforded to him to refine his skills and wait until he was ready, then I'll disqualify all of your guys for being picked in the first half of the first round. Those guys are supposed to be good. That's why they get picked that high. Yimmy barely made it out of the second round of the draft. He was always a hit or miss kind of player. He was never expected to be the savior from day one. Instead, he ended up becoming one of the best goaltenders in the league, all the while doing it under conditions that still define him as a rookie.

To be eligible for the award,

a player cannot have played more than 25 games in any single preceding season (4 in 05-06,4 in 07-08,1 in 08-09.)
nor in six or more games in each of any two preceding seasons in any major professional league. (Only 5 total.)
The player must not be older than 26 years before September 15 of the season in which he is eligible. (25 years, 173 days)

Is he eligible? Yes.
Is he worthy? Yes.
Is he going to win?

I'll still be shocked if he does.

First Round Options

2010-04-05T14:26:00.000-04:00

Now that the Red Wings are, without a doubt, IN the 2010 Stanley Cup Playoffs, now comes the debate on who we should want to face and who we don't want to face.

Chicago: So the Wings can't do any better than 5th place, because of tiebreakers with Phoenix and all that happy jazz. They're a lower seed. No home ice advantage. With that in mind, I personally kind of want to see little brother Chicago in the first round. If you can't win home ice, make it. I have no doubt that a game in Chicago will have more than enough Red Wings fans in the crowd to make some noise. Also, the Wings would probably want to come out and say, "Yeah, you won the conference, but we're still the team to beat 'round these parts." This year's Wings club went 2-2-1 with one game to be played against Chicago. Those 2 losses being shut outs back when the Griffins were playing in the NHL and the Wings were in the press boxes with suits on.

San Jose: The Sharks' playoff inabilities are well known. Does that make them a pushover team? Not at all. The team is still scary in a 7 game series. Any team with noted Wings-killer Joe Thornton is not a good sight to see across the ice in a playoff game. The Sharks have been consistently good for the regular season, setting up base camp at the top of the conference year after year. However, this year the Red Wings went 3-0-1 against them, making them a pretty good match up for the first round.

Phoenix: The Hamilton Coyotes are surprising everyone this year, not letting the 17,034 off-ice issues the past few years hamper them. Sitting pretty in a top-seed playoff position, they're one of the less favorable pairings possible for the Red Wings. A lot of people are calling them one of the scariest looking teams right now. They've got goaltending. They've got goal scorers getting hot. They've figured out what to do on the ice a lot more than they've figure it out off the ice. This year, the Wings went 2-0-2, which isn't bad, but let's not forget the debacle in late January where the Wings gave up a 2 goal lead with 1:30 left in the game to lose in OT.

Vancouver: I don't know what it is, but Vancouver always scares me. But then I remember THIS and everything's okay again. Luongo's not the goalie he was in Florida anymore, when the Wings would waltz in like they owned the place and get their asses handed to them on 40 different platters, one for every riconculous save he'd come up with. The Sedins are still there, as well as goal scorer extraordinaire Mikael Samuelsson. They have talent, but they just don't seem to come with it all the time. The Wings went 3-1-0 this year, with that one loss being the 6-3 loss right after the Olympic break.

No matter who the Wings end up seeing in the first round, Detroit's going to have to come out with a fire that hasn't been there in ages. When was the last time that they started the playoffs outside of JLA? They also need to make a statement early, letting the people who wrote them off earlier in the season know just how wrong they were and maybe they should stick to a sport like billiards, because they clearly don't know shit about hockey. And they need to outlast those bitches in black in white from the LEastern Conference, the Penguins.

This has been, and will continue to be a season to tell the grandkids about for the Red Wings Nation. The injuries, the inability to score goals, let alone win games mid-season, the post-Olympic March to Playoffs, and, of course, H2H.

Let's just hope it lasts until June again.

If you're interested in what the 2nd round

pairings could look like, the Wings

fared like this against the other

teams looking at playoff spots:

NSH- 4-1-1
LA- 2-2-0
COL- 2-1-1
CAL- 2-2-0

Today is Easter.

2010-04-04T21:49:00.000-04:00

Today, being Easter, is a time to reflect back to a man who died and what his death has given to all of us.

Roald Dahl.

Roald Dahl died in 1990. That also happens to be the last time the Red Wings missed the playoffs. Is the spirit of Roald Dahl watching over the Red Wings, and aiding their way into the playoffs year after year? Did Roald Dahl even like hockey?
I don't know, but it sure as hell seems convincing to me.

Some other interesting factoids I've come up with

Ever since Law and Order has been on the air, the Wings haven't missed the playoffs.
Ever since The Silence of the Lambs was released in theaters, the Wings haven't missed the playoffs.
Ever since Comedy Central's been in it's current format, the Wings haven't missed the playoffs.
Ever since Jamie Lynn Spears was born, the Wings haven't missed the playoffs.
Ever since Final Fantasy has been published and released for American consoles, the Wings haven't missed the playoffs.
Ever since Pee-wee's Playhouse has been OFF the air, the Wings haven't missed the playoffs.

and perhaps my personal favorite...

Ever since Stefanía Fernández was born, the Wings haven't missed the playoffs.

Who's that? Your reigning Miss Universe.
Also, since the Wings lost today, don't we get hot latinas anyways? Enjoy...

HAPPY EAVESTER

2010-04-04T01:53:00.000-04:00

Happy Eavester, everyone!

Didn't We Do This LAST Week?!

2010-04-03T11:35:00.000-04:00

So, it's been a week since I've followed any Red Wing game at all. It's been a crazy week, with things here in New River slowly crawling to a close. Soon, I'll be on a plane (or maybe just a bus) back up to Detroit for a month, where the shenanigans will come to a head.

Last week, the H2Hangover was nursed back to health(?) with the second game in as many nights against, well, the same team we're facing tonight.

Personally, I don't expect the same utterly boring/completely exciting game that we witnessed last week. Why? Some key differences I can think of this time around:

REST -The Wings were playing the second half of back to back games when these to clubs went to the 11 round shoot out shut out win for the Wings. This go around, the Wings have had a day to rest their legs and I'm guessing Yimmy didn't have a birthday yesterday, either.
ICE -That last game was in the Gaylord Center, where the ice was just about perfect if you're into pond hockey and shit like that. This game will be played in the good ol' JLA, where the ice is just about as good as you can get in the NHL.
NO SLOTHS -I will be busy again tonight, trying to make up for last night, doing questionable things in questionable places with questionable people. Seriously, though, I'll be having another class function (just another excuse to drink) and unable to follow the game. Which means I can't lurk over at the WIM game thread and post pictures of sloths that may or may not have contributed to the lackluster opening 65 minutes of the game in Nashville.

Other than that, just refer to my last pregame post and change all the difference in your head. For instance, that "4 game win streak" is now "7 game win streak". And feel free to change all mentions of H2H and their hangovers to my class, after the epic night of drinking and hooliganism we had last night.

Detroit Anteaters Shut Out the Nashville Peckers

2010-03-28T00:03:00.001-04:00

The first three periods went something like this:

The ice was bad, and I have to believe that the conditions altered the Wings' game plan. It was often described as a chess match, a waiting game, and it made for a very boring game. There were portions of the game over in the game thread on WIM that were just silent, There wasn't a whole lot to talk about. The goalies made amazing saves when they had to, but that kind of goes without saying, considering it was a 1-0 shoot out win. Obviously, if a game ends like that, the goalies were coming up big when they had to.

The shootout was insane. I didn't really have faith, considering our previous outings in the shoot out, AND the fact that we played last night. I thought the team didn't really stand a chance. When Bertuzzi scored, I hoped with everything I had that that would be the game winner. When Sullivan scored, I lost all hope. Momentum shifted, and I didn't think a tired Wings squad had what it took to come back.

Sometimes, I don't mind being wrong.

The shootout went for about 5 more months, and Babcock was running out of forwards to put out. Either that, or he knew that Kronner's been staying after practices and working on his shootout moves. I don't care which one it was, because he scored on his one and only career shootout attempt. And Yimmy came up with the stop he should have made about 435 shooters before and won the game.

So, in the past week, the Wings beat the Penguins, complete with Yimmy owning Rosby after he went after Zetterberg in the waning moments of the game. They beat their old goalie who had shut them out the last time they played each other. They had a scorgy against Minnesota with some very special audience members in attendance. Then they shut out a team above them in the standings in sub-par ice conditions on a huge game from Yimmy and improbable goals in the shootout.

If I'm any team in the top 8 in the conference, I'm not happy with what I'm seeing coming at me in red and white.

Update: Phoenix took care of Colorado so we at least have 7th place locked up. Dallas is beating LA 4-1 in the third, so it looks like 6th place might be safe, too.

Making Amends

2010-03-27T20:44:00.000-04:00

Detroit Hangovers Vs. Nashville Bananas

2010-03-27T18:12:00.001-04:00

Refer to this picture.

Our beloved Wings are playing another game tonight after that amazing game they put together for the Herm to Hockeytown gang and Herm himself.

Let's hope they came out of last night feeling better than the crew from last night did.

The Wings have been having strong games against the Nanners this year, the last coming on March 5th when my very own Helm-based performance pledge accounted for 2 goals from him en route to the Wings' 3rd straight win against the Plantains this year.

Just in case the Wings need a little help getting up for this game, like the entire H2H crew this morning, here are a few things they can swish around their mouths... I'm sure it'll leave a bitter taste

The Puddings are sitting just 2 points ahead of the Wings as of right... now. How much is a regulation win worth? 2 points. Oh, that makes things interesting.
It's been mentioned that certain member of the Breads believes that certain members of our team doesn't deserve his full paycheck.
Also, before that March 5th game, Dan Ellis said some things about Detroit as a city. I've been to Nashville, Dan. It's not all roses there, either. And you used to play in the GAYLORD Center.
And my friend Jess lives in Trashville (How do YOU like it, Dan?), so my very own personal bragging rights are on the line tonight.

The Wings are currently riding a season best and current league best 4 game win streak. They've been hot since the Olympic break, with Franzen, Filppula, and... and... Dammit! I love alliteration, but we don't have any other F players on our team. Anyways, Franzen, Filppula, and a FEW other players (Ah-HA!) have come back from that break with a whole new passion for the game. Zetterberg, Bertuzzi, Datysuk and Holmstrom have been benefiting from being paired with them, because they probably wouldn't be as good without them, right?

Press box regular Jonathan Ericsson is riding a scoring streak of sorts, going one game with at least a goal and an assist. Can he keep up his sordid pace tonight? But seriously, the kid was a +4 last night and had a goal and an assist. That has to be good for the ego, a little bit.
Yimmy's playing again tonight. He better have celebrated his birthday the way most 26 year olds do on their birthdays, and by that I mean going to sleep directly after coming home from work to get ready for the day ahead.

Bertuzzi's been hot and cold lately, sometimes on the same damn shift. He's clearly benefiting from playing with Z and V, but he's clearly Bertuzzi, too. So there's not really much more we can expect from him.

The puck drops in a little under 2 hours. Hopefully the H2H crew will wake up by then. Sources claim there's a get together happening at somewhere, so I'll be expecting more pictures.

Go Wings.

For the Bloggers

2010-03-27T13:10:00.000-04:00

This post is going to be all over the place. I don't have a real point or a direction I want to take it beyond the overall theme of what I want to say. But we'll get there.
I first started my personal Twitter page on April 27th of last year. I chose the user name EtchedInCold because it was something I've been using for years now on Facebook and MySpace, and other social networking sites. Those words, etched in cold, come from the lyrics of my favorite song, 198d by At the Drive-In. The chorus goes: "Walk away, born in hearts, etched in cold." That was it. My favorite song, from a somewhat obscure band, and nothing terribly cliche. So I latched on to it and made it synonymous with me. But it would lead to more than that, but that comes later in the story.
Anyways, back to Twitter. I tweeted occasionally throughout the playoffs, but mostly put my thoughts and rants onto Facebook. When the playoffs ended, it laid dormant for about 5 months because I had no one to really talk to, and therefore no reason to be on it.
But what happens in October? The new season started. And I was looking for people I could actually discuss hockey with besides the people that I was stationed with in Beaufort whose hockey expertice extended as far as their hometown loyalties allowed. I knew someone from Tampa saying that the Lightning were going to win the Cup this year. There were people from New York saying it was the Sabre's turn this year (a little more realistic, but clearly biased).
There were only 2 people I knew that not only liked, but followed the Wings. Mind you, they did not follow nearly as religiously as I did, they watched the games on NBC and Versus when they were showing a Red Wings game, but that was it. I was the only person watching every game online and following ESPN to see what the 'experts' were saying.
But as long as I've been reading the game recaps and the analysis of the team on ESPN, I've always felt it was lacking a certain something. Something I could relate to, something I could buy in to.
Passion.
It always seemed that the writers on ESPN, while no doubt knowledgable, were just too bland and too politically correct. They never said anything about "bullshit calls" or openly criticized the refs, coaches or players. They never struck me as real fans. Just people who got paid to write about the game without offending any one side, any demographic.
So I started looking into a more unmonitored conduit to get my news, analysis, and recaps from. The first site I stumbled upon was Snipe Snipe, Dangle Dangle. I loved the structured aspect to the site with the cookies and cupcakes and golden facepalm sections, along with the humor and personality that came through in the writing. It was definitely what I had been looking for, and pretty much needing. So after I read through a post on there, I looked at the other blogs listed on the page. I still have them all bookmarked in my favorites folder for Red Wings. I went from SS,DD to Babcock's Death Stare to Fight Night at the Joe to Hockeytown Static to Motown Wings to Nightmare on Helm Street to On The Wings to The Production Line to The Scrappy Octopus to The Triple Deke. In that order. And each one had it's own distinct voice and personality.
I had died and gone to a Red Wings blog heaven.
Eventually, I stopped bookmarking them because I realized that they all linked to each other, so I really only needed one to find my way to the others. But a lot of them also had links to their Twitter accounts. So there I was, thinking "Oh, hey, I have one of those Twitter things. Why not follow them?"
So I added. And I read. And I laughed. And I waited. I was admittedly afraid to jump into the conversations I saw happening on Twitter, because you all were just so good, so funny, and so close-knit that I thought I never stood a chance, that I'd never be taken seriously. (Little did I know at the time that nearly nothing is serious among you guys...)
I forget the circumstances behind it, but one day, I decided to say something, half expecting a "Yeah, okay, but who the fuck are you" type response. But it never came. I was immediately given a warm welcome into the little online community that was cropping up on Twitter. I was elated. I finally had people who shared my sense of humor, my taste in writing, and my love for the Red Wings. All in one place.
I used to have to deal with those cookie cutter game recaps they'd offer up on ESPN... Now, I've got jailsexing and movie posters and limericks and photoblogs and ladders to titties and beer and golden facepalms and (now) me singing Huey Lewis and the News in my bathroom.

I was ecstatic when I actually got credited on someone's blog for 'breaking' a story about someone being scratched from a game. To feel like these elite writers, these people I looked up to as bloggers, listened to me, was something big for me at the time.

Now, a little personal bit about me. I've always liked writing, and I've always been told that people like to read what I wrote.

So one day, I decided to give a little bit of Wings blogging a try. I couldnt think of a smart title that I felt would be both reflective of me as a person, but also my rookie attempt at blogging. But what was that line that I mentioned earlier? Etched in cold? Kind of like... skate blades and ice? Like... hockey? And At the Drive-In? DIBS.
So I had a title. Now all I needed was posts. I still feel that the best piece I've written was the first Wings and Sharks game back on my brutal little Tumblr site. (I should probably transfer those over here...) I don't know how many people actually read it there, or how many people even read what I say here. But for me, it's more of a release from the day I've had working as a Marine, to just emerge myself completely into my love for the Wings. I know my blog right now is a little halfassed and, well, lacking. Did you know that the Wings played the Blues this past week? It's not on my blog...
Things will change. Once I get somewhere that I can get a hardline internet connection to see the games and post my blogs, expect a complete overhaul of my site.

As I've always said, I've never expected to be considered at the same level as all those blogs I first stumbled upon so long ago. And I'll never expect to be mentioned during a Wings game and spur a record breaking scorgy. So I'm honored that you consider me a friend and an equal.

Thank you.

For the Tweeps

2010-03-27T13:09:00.000-04:00

Last night was H2H. If you're reading this right now, you know what that means. And if you don't, you're probably reading the wrong blog.
I was reading The Original Rob's post over on TPL, and it got to me. Like, a tearing up in a public place surrounded by people kind of got to me. Let's not even talk about what happened when I read myself mentioned in that post.
As many -if not all- of you know, I am a Marine. If you didn't know THAT, you're still on the wrong blog. There are a few things that I've done that I'm proud of within the past few years. Finishing the Crucible in boot camp and actually spanning that gap from recruit to Marine is one of them.
Ranking above that, yes, above that, is just getting my dirty little fingers into this whole H2H movement. Being a part of it, spreading the word, just doing what I could do in my limited capacity, brings such a sense of purpose to the choices that have brought me here.
I feel like me joining the Marine Corps brought me into this crazy, dysfunctional, off-the-wall, -but so amazingly beautiful- little Red Wings internet community, and that's worth all the literal blood, sweat, and tears I've put into this.
And being in the Corps, I've been through 5 different bases, 5 different groups of people, 5 different jobs. In a little under 2 years. That doesn't leave a lot of room for consistancy. It doesn't leave a lot of room for making friends and lasting relationships.
However, no matter where I go, I have you guys to talk to. Not just about Bertuzzi's latest failed spin-o-rama and Jimmy for President of Space and all that stuff, but I can talk to you guys about things like my pay issues, my Achilles, crab rangoon, Jurassic Park and Marlboro Reds.
And it was instant. I started off just lurking around and reading your blogs and your collective tweets, afraid to speak up because you guys were so good and so close knit, I was in awe of the little community I'd stumbled upon. Eventually, I got the guts to send a tweet to one of you, half expecting some sort of "Oh, yeah, that's great, but who the fuck are you" response. (Now, keep in mind... Marine Corps. This was the equivalent of a Private going up to a Sergeant Major in my eyes.) Instead, it was a warm response. It was an "Oh, I hadn't heard that, thanks for sharing" or a "Yeah, you might be right about that". And I felt accepted. So I kept it up. I met more and more of you. And you all have become the family that I don't have here on the bases I'm stationed on.
There's also the added sense of belonging within the group because a lot of you are just like me, relocated out of Michigan for whatever reason it is, family, job, school, witness protection. But we had that same tie in to each other. As much as I'd really love to that that we all bleed red, it would just be silly, because we all really do bleed red. Damn.
You are all wonderful. Wonderful fans, wonderful minds, and wonderful people. Some of the smartest, wittiest, most clever (I really wish I could say 'cleverest') people I've known. I can be having a shitty day, and without even expecting it, reading one of your blogs or seeing some of your tweets or a couple comments can have me laughing and forgetting why I was in such a bad mood before.
And, of course, there are the games. In my Marine Corps career, I have only met 2 people who even cared about the Wings. One is from Ohio, and grew up BEFORE the Blue Jackets, so his loyalties remain in Red and White. The other is from the hockey mecca of Savannah, Georgia. But his mother was from Michigan, so he was bred into it. But neither of them were as die hard as I was, following every game on the internet like me.
So who was I going to talk to? Not only that, who was I going to talk to that actually knew what they were talking about and would make it fun?
I spent the majority of last season following on ESPN mobile. Every thing there was so bland and so PC that it got boring.
Now, I've got jailsexing and movie posters and limericks and photoblogs and ladders to titties and beer and golden facepalms and me singing Huey Lewis and the News in my bathroom.

This post is probably jumpy as hell. It probably lacks real structure or flow. But I'm just typing what I feel, as I feel it and as I think it. It's crude because it's honest. I could have just sat here and thought out what to say when and where to place it in the context of my other points to make and all that other stuff they taught when I was asleep in AP English. I don't really even have a closing paragraph prepared or anything (that THAT, Mr. Jackson!).

All I really want to say it that I appreciate everything you've done for me, everything that you do for me. Even the little things count. Hopefully next year, there will be another big shindig, and the Sad Face Group can show up and meet you all like so many people did this year.

I'm getting my paperwork ready now.
I have a feeling 2011 is going to be nuts.

The H2H Game

2010-03-27T13:02:00.000-04:00

First, I'll address the game. In the first period, the Wild thought they had scored a goal. The puck was on the line for about 3 months until it was swept away. The play went to review, and the first thing I thought of was, "Welcome to Hockeytown, Herm. This is what it's come to these days." Luckily, the refs didn't bend us over the bench boards and have their way with us. The first period ended tied up at nuts.
The second was reminiscent of the Chicago game a while back. 4 goal blow out in the frame, with every kind of goal you can think of being scored. There was Homer's power play goal, there was (apparently) Ericsson's shorthanded goal, and there were even strength tallies. Diverse scoring. This is key, and it's something we expect from our Wings. And it's coming back.
Okay, yes; Frickin' Franzen had 2 goals, Pav scored, and Homer scored, and they're who we expect to score for us. That's not diverse. But like I just said, you can have 3 kinds of goals in this game of hockey. Man up, man down, or even. We got them all. Then we had Miller adding his goal in the 3rd. And shorthanded specialist (seriously, 25% of his goals are with someone in the box) Ericsson scoring. I like seeing this.
To be completely honest, I didn't really pay much attention to most of the 3rd period, I was mostly chatting it up with Sad Face Group Team Leaders and stalking the H2H tweeps online for pics and other things to give me something to pretend I was there.
I guess Yimmy gave up a flukey goal to make it 4-2, and for all of .00003 seconds, I was concerned about the game. If the Hockey Gods cursed us and threw this game to the Wild, I personally would have gone all Kratos on them and destroyed them all. Pandora's Box and all. But I really didn't see that happening. The Wild's first goal was a PP goal. And the second was a strange, improbable goal. There was nothing in the Minnesota game that was more than the Wings had been handling all night.

H2H Bar Tab

2010-03-26T22:30:00.005-04:00

Date	Opponent	Result	Goal Money	Goal Differential Money	Grand Total
Mon, Mar 1	@Colorado	W 3-2	G = $6	+1 (+1 = $1)	$7
Wed, Mar 3	Vancouver	L 6-3	G = $6	-3 (-2 = $0)	$12
Fri, Mar 5	Nashville	W 2-5	G = $10	+3 (+1 = $1)	$23*
Sun, Mar 7	@Chicago	W 5-4	G = $10	+1 (+2 = $2)	$34
Tue, Mar 9	Calgary	L 4-2	G = $4	-2 (0 = $0)	$36
Thu, Mar 11	Minnesota	W 1-5	G = $10	+4 (+4 = $4)	$50
Sat, Mar 13	Buffalo	W 2-3	G = $6	+1 (+5 = $5)	$57*
Mon, Mar 15	@Calgary	W 2-1	G = $4	+1 (+6 = $6)	$62
Fri, Mar 19	@Edmonton	L 2-3	G = $4	-1 (+5 = $5)	$65*
Sat, Mar 20	@Vancouver	W 4-3	G = $8	+1 (+6 = $6)	$74
Mon, Mar 22	Pittsburgh	W 1-3	G = $6	+2 (+8=$8)	$82

Show Your Math

2010-03-26T19:16:00.000-04:00

Judging from my trusty, dusty H2H Bar Tab post, I have myself slated for $82 in team performance pledges, $19 for Helm goals, and $10 for defenseman goals from below the circles. That comes to $111.

However, certain people who shall go unmentioned have notified me that the total adds up to only $106.

I blame Bertuzzi.

Also, in unrelated related news, as some of you already know, I've come across a little bit of financial hardships, with money not being paid due to paper trail screw ups related to my recent move from MCAS Beaufort to MCAS New River.
But I'm a man of my word, and the money will be donated. It just isn't going into the big mass donation.

Contingency Plan

2010-03-21T18:03:00.000-04:00

I can't even begin to explain this right now.

But if things go bad at The Joe tomorrow night, THIS WILL HAPPEN!

You can ask Nick about it.

I Want a New Drug (For the Kiddies)

2010-03-21T00:24:00.001-04:00

Never one to back down from a challenge, and always willing to do my part in earning money and pledges for H2H. So when the new challenge came over on Twitter, regarding TPL's Huey Lewis and The News themed post, who was I to say no?

Yeah.
That's me.
In my bathroom.
Singing Huey Lewis and The News.
For the kiddies.

Calgary, The Game I Didn't Follow.

2010-03-16T00:14:00.000-04:00

Rob

Pavel Datsyuk.

11:15pmSherolyn

very nice goal but we are still going to win

Zetterberg is being especially hostile tonight

11:16pmRob

He has to be.

I can't watch, though...

11:17pmSherolyn

how come? Not televised

11:17pmRob

Not in North Carolina.

11:17pmSherolyn

Ah I see

11:17pmRob

And my internet's not good enough to stream video.

11:18pmSherolyn

It's been a great game...pretty physical. Could you stream radio?

11:28pmRob

It's not working either.

11:28pmSherolyn

crappy

you guys just got a 4 min penalty

11:29pmRob

AND my phone service here sucks, so I'm not even getting the text updates.

11:29pmSherolyn

ugggh

such an important game too

11:29pmRob

I know.

But so was that last one

11:30pmSherolyn

yes

11:30pmRob

You're not making the playoffs, though. Sorry.

11:31pmSherolyn

I have faith

11:31pmRob

I'm not sure if you've noticed, but the Wings are looking good since the olympics.

11:33pmSherolyn

We have only lost one since then as well...we shit the bed a it last night

11:34pmRob

Well, you held Vancouver to 0 SOG in the 3rd, but still couldn't win.

Ha.

11:36pmSherolyn

I know, I actually gave up watching that game between extreme tiredness and watching them not even show up in the first period it wasn't worth it.

11:36pmRob

At least you had that option.

11:36pmSherolyn

true

11:36pmRob

I haven't watched a full Wings game since the Chicago game with the 5 goal 2nd period.

11:37pmSherolyn

really, this must be making you crazy.

11:37pmRob

Tell me about it.

I started a Wings blog, and I can't even update it!

http://etchedincold.blogspot.com/

You'll like the Calgary recap.

11:39pmSherolyn

11:53pmSherolyn

fuck you guys just scored and there is a 1:19 left in the 3rd

11:53pmRob

Yeah!

11:55pmSherolyn

taking time outs...we're pulling Kipper

11:59pmSherolyn

You won, good game

12:01amRob

Huzzah!

Red Wings v. Sabres (The 1/2 Minute Review)

2010-03-14T10:49:00.000-04:00

Datsyuk scored. It was pure Datsyuk. Bad angle, through the defenseman, in the net.
Then Eaves scored, while getting tripped and on his knees. Miller with a bad pokecheck. (...it WAS a poke check, right?)
Jimmy gave up some rebounds and, with the help of officiating non-calls, the Sabres tied the game in the 2nd period.
The third period was negligible. No one scored.
30 seconds into OT, Rafalski ripped one from my favorite position on the ice, the $5 zone.
Afterwards, the Miller family ate at an IHOP.

Damn, I wish I could actually watch these games.

The Most In Depth Calgary Recap EVER

2010-03-10T17:15:00.001-05:00

Who's This Cromwell Guy? (AKA The 20 Minute Win)

2010-03-08T19:35:00.000-05:00

The Red Wings played the elite Blackhawks yesterday, we all know this.
The Wings won 5-4, we all know this, too.

But almost didn't.
I've been putting off writing this post for a number of different reasons, the biggest of which is because I didn't want to piss on anyone's parades. Yes, it was a big win. Yes, it was nice to finally smack down little brother on national television. Yes, those 2 points were huge, considering the lack of dearly needed help around the league to lock up that 8th (or higher) spot. So I decided to wait. Let everyone sing the praises of the Wings for a good day and a half.

But here it is: The Wings were way too close to another Phoenix to be too proud of that game. The Wings got downright lucky to win the game, but I'll tell you the only reason we won that game. First, however, I'll rule out the different reasons.
~~5 goal 2nd period.~~
Yes, it helped. Especially giving up a hat trick to Ladd. You do that, and you need at least 4 goals to win. And technically speaking, scoring 5 goals IS the reason we won. But it's not WHY we won.
~~Datsyuk's dagger to end the 2nd.~~
If I'm Chicago, and I'm playing any team BUT Detroit, that goal with 2.7 seconds left makes me want to just quit right there. But the Wings are just about as good at holding a lead this season as Patrick Kane is at making sound decisions in public transportation.
And that's not very good at all. And it showed.
~~Diverse scoring.~~
If you're like me, you're thrilled that the Wings roared back from being down 2-0 to being up 4-2 with out a player named Datsyuk, Franzen, Holmstrom, or Zetterberg putting a puck in the net. And having 8 players notch points was nice, too. Again, it's a nice stepping stone on the way to a win, but is it WHY we won? No.

I'll tell you why we won.
According to the closed captioning in the gym today, it was some guy named Cromwell.

Towards the end of the third, with Chicago surging for the late, tying goal, Hossa slipped a puck behind Howard from the left side of the net. It went trickling back toward the front of the crease where Kopecky was waiting. Kronwall jumped in from his right defense position, smacking the puck out of the crease. However, Kopecky still got 2 whacks at it. Both shots blocked by Kronwall.
Kronwall made 2, if not 3 saves to save this game.

Kronwall is the only reason that the Wings played less than 20 minutes and walked away with a win.
Kronwall is the only reason that the Wings were not embarrassed on national television by little brother.
Kronwall is the only reason that the Wings are still in a playoff spot right now.

And the fuck of it is that he's getting nearly no recognition for it.
Only Ellen at Big Red Machine and Andy over at Fight Night at the Joe mentioned it. Well, besides me.

Don't worry, fellow bloggers, I'm not calling you out. Not even ESPN gave him credit for anything. Not even the first blocked shot, let alone the follow up.

I feel like I've ranted enough. All in all, what matters is what the scoreboard says at the end of the third period. Which apparently was 11 - 2:00 because, while ESPN was not giving Kronwall any credit for his (at least one) blocked shot(s), they did let me know that Cleary took a holding penalty after the final horn sounded. But the scoreboard also said 4-5. In the Wings' favor. They might have been ugly, undeserved 2 points, but they're our 2 points now.
And it's about damn time WE got the breaks.

Wrist Shots

2010-03-05T19:09:00.000-05:00

- We're playing Nashville tonight. I liked it better when they played in the Gaylord Center. Every game against Nashville's important to me, because I have a good friend who lives in Nashville. Bragging rights are at stake here.

- Once again, I'll be unable to WATCH the game tonight, as the wireless internet on this base cowers in fear in the face of any kind of video streaming. The radio feeds seem to do okay, but they generally lag somewhere between 45 seconds to a minute.

- Jimmy's starting tonight. My completely professional opinion is that while Ozzie's sitting on the bench with his clipboard, he should be keeping track of the team's H2H performances, too. Take a little weight off of our shoulders.

- Having little else to offer in terms of actual, thoughtful analysis, I'm going to formally announce my 2 new performance pledges for H2H.
The first regarding Helm: For every goal he scores from now until March 26th, I'll match his season's goal total with cash. Right now, he's sitting at 8 goals. His next goal (9) will be worth $9. The next goal will be worth $10. And so on...
My second new pledge is going to be $5 for every defenseman's goal from in or below the faceoff circles. I'll need a little help with keeping tabs on that one, though, so if someone could kindly volunteer to keep track of that for me, it'd be much appreciated. Here's a pretty little diagram to help the scorekeepers out there:

SHIT'S CASH! (At least $7 for this goal alone.)

NO BUENO! (Only about $2.)

(This isn't worth any money, but totally expected tonight.)

- That having been said, go Wings!

Trade Deadline Thoughts

2010-03-03T18:21:00.000-05:00

Of course this would happen. The day my brand new Newbury Red Wings jersey shows up*, he gets traded to New York for Terrell or Jesse Owens or some shit**. It gives me the mental image of Ken Holland and Glen Sather sitting in a gymnasium picking for teams, and they were the last two kids left.
*not true.

Ken Holland is a smart man, and one of the best GMs -if not THE best GM- in the league. You have to believe he had other players available for trades. I doubt he was sitting up in his office answering his phone calls with the opening line "Ken Holland, it's Newbury or nobody." It kind of makes you wonder what the league's other GMs were offering in return for your hypothetical Ericsson or Ledba trades. Over at the TPL Trade Deadline chat, I mentioned that I wouldn't even give the Wings a draft beer for Lebda, let alone a draft pick. Apparently I wasn't the only one thinking that.

Also, if this hadn't been the season from Hell, what kinds of moves could have been made? I think the team's overall lackluster performance greatly decreased anyone on the team's trade value. There have been big, bright spotlights all over everyone's shortcomings and liabilities. But I still figured someone would want one of these pieces of trade bait. I mean, someone took that one Leino guy. Maybe Holland lost Paul Holmgren's phone number today.

Meanwhile, while Ken Holland was sitting behind his desk eating a Hot and Ready, with a mouth too full to answer the phone, Carolina's Jim Rutherford and Washington's George McPhee were amassing huge overage fees on their wireless plans, making 5 and 4 deals respectively. I believe we had the expendable bodies to come out of the day with a transaction sheet longer than that. With the injuries we've been through causing some of our AHLers to get a decent chunk of NHL experience via trial by fire, and even our regularly dressed players acting like they've already booked hotels for the middle of May somewhere, I expected more than just Newbury to be traded.

Personally, I had Abdelkader, Williams, Draper, and Lebda on my "If-I-Ran-Shit" trading block. Kindl being a "definite maybe". I'm sure there were many others out there with their own dream trade scenarios. And reasonable ones, too. None of the "Bertuzzi-Janik-Draper" to Columbus for "Nash-Commodore" like you could pull off on NHL 04 (although, how awesome would that have been?). So for us to walk out of this with just another player that will probably never see the Winged Wheel across their chest (raise your hand, Ole-Kristian. No, your hand! Not your elbow!), it kind of leaves you confused.

I see it being one of two things. Someone in charge somewhere feels comfortable enough with this team as is, and didn't see us needed that extra help to make a playoff run/Cup run. And I really, really hope that that was the discussion leading to the 3pm deadline. Because the alternative in my head is that the team as a whole just cashed in their chips and is waiting for free agency.

**I would just like to say that when I was writing this blog, I had only read about the Newbury trade on Twitter and a few articles online. I didn't really look into it that much (you guys did a lot of it for me, I admit.) With the Terrell/Jesse Owens line, I was only trying to make a joke because TO played in New York this past season (albeit with the Bills), and with Jesse Owens having the same initials as Jordan Owens. At the time, I had no idea what Jordan looked like or what race he was, and was not trying to put any racist or inconsiderate comments out there at all.

We've Created a Monster

2010-03-01T23:31:00.000-05:00

Michael and Rob, the criminal masterminds over at The Production Line, came up with a twist on the bet for the USA-CAN gold medal game. $2 for every Wings goal scored in the upcoming 12 games. They urged others to match their pledges, much like I matched the original bet.
And they came a-callin'.
To keep tabs on all the people and pledges (there are some damn good, original ones in there, too...) follow TPL's seemingly ever-changing post here.

Funny thing happened when I was reading that post, though...

For every Red Wings goal from now until we get on the plane, Rob and I will donate $2 to the fund.

I read that and was just a little confused. My name also being Rob, my first thought was "when did we discuss this?"
But then I decided to match it regardless. So, much like I threw my hat in the ring on the original Olympic bet, I'm also donating $2 per goal for these next 12 games.
But with a twist.
I'm also going to add an ADDITIONAL dollar for the Wings' overall goal differential in these next 12 games.

For instance, at this very moment, our beloved Red Wings are playing the Avalanche with a 3-2 lead. So with this game alone, it's currently a $7 donation. The next goal would add another $3, 2 for the goal, and 1 for the +/- rating.

Apparently the game just went final, Wings 3, Avs 2. So, my bar tab, if you will, is sitting at $6 for goals, and $1 for goal differentials. $7. (On top the $60 I just donated today.)

A Marine Never Lies, Cheats, or Steals

2010-03-01T16:26:00.001-05:00

This Payment will appear on your credit card statement as "H2HDONATION"

Confirmation Number:

Placed on Mar 1, 2010

Purpose	Donation amount
H2H Children's Hospital of Michigan Donations	$60.00 USD

Total Amount:	$60.00 USD

It Came to Me in a Dream

2010-02-28T22:23:00.000-05:00

I have physical therapy in the morning at 5:30, so I tried to get to sleep early today, but me being the insomniac I am, that hardly worked. So I started reading, hoping it would help. I dozed off reading Dexter in the Dark, and found myself in a dream.
In this dream, America had won the gold by the 3-2 score, and then Maria was paying up her end of the bargain. But it was only $30, not the $60 that myself and Michael would be putting in after I matched his bet. I felt bad, thinking about how it was all for a good cause and all that jazz. So I decided to match her bet, too, like I matched the other one.
In the dream.
I woke up then. And decided why not do it anyways, now?

$10 for every American goal.
I don't care that they didn't win.

So here's my math:
The score was Canada 3, USA 2, but I refuse to acknowledge Crosby scored, so we're sitting at 2-2.
But I'm going to donate 5 dollars for every goal Rafalski scored against Canada the first go around.
So (2+2)10+5x2... remember your PEMDAS?
      (4)10+5x2
         40+10
            50

$50 will be coming from me tomorrow sometime to the Herm 2 Hockeytown Children's Hospital Charity Fund Thingamabobber.

You'll forgive me for this post, as I'm still half groggy on account of just waking up.

~~~~~~~*UPDATE*~~~~~~~
Our good friend @marl0nbrand0 decided to donate $3 for every Canadian gold won in these Olympics, $2 for every silver, and $1 for every bronze. I tried to do some quick math in my head and falsely tweeted it was going to come up to about $71. A check of my trusty calculator soon told me I was about $10 off. BUT FEAR NOT! He will still be donating $71 like I said he would, I'm just gonna loan him the extra 10 dollars. So at this point, we're looking at a donation of $60. Coming to a total of $151 from me, Marlon, and Michael.

In Short...

2010-02-28T18:21:00.000-05:00

This is an abbreviation of my previous post, so you don't have to sift through everything to get to the brass tacks.

"I'd like to take this opportunity to throw my hat in the ring for @mpetrella's bet regarding this game, also donating 10 dollars for every goal CAN scores if they win to H2H. I'd think that's pretty ballsy considering the score already being 2-0."

I will be matching @mpetrella's bet with @Mariia19. Even though I have no right no. I also don't have a reason not to.
So, with tomorrow being payday, 30 of my (read: American taxpayer's) dollars will be finding their way into the H2H donation bank.

USA vs Canada (The lost blog)

2010-02-28T18:07:00.000-05:00

This blog was found on a laptop approximately 10 feet from a television playing NBC, in the hockey wasteland known as North Carolina. More specifically, MCAS New River. The words you are about to read have not been changed, this is being posted unedited. The owner, nowhere to be found.

"I came in to the game with about 5 minutes left in the first period, USA alread trailing 1-0. I had to go out and get a haircut (damn military regulations.)

2 things happened when I came in. A) We finally won an offensive zone faceoff, according to the TV. B) I do believe I witnessed more shots on goal by USA than by Canada. So with those two things being true, I'm fairly sure that my presence is turning the tides for Team USA.

I'm currently stuck between watching the game down here in the lounge sans internet, or going to my room WITH internet and not watching. I think that if things stay like this (USA trailing) after the second period, I'll go back to my room where my Girl Scout cookies and Monster energy drink await me.

(Completely unrelated: I'm all agog with excitement because my dream came true. Last night, I put up on Twitter that I've been listening to Neverending White Lights all day, and that my lifetime goal was to be acknowledged by @Daniel_Victor [the one man behind the one man project that is Neverending White Lights]. Well, I can scratch that off the list because he tweeted back to me today. I had mentioned that I had played NWL [at the time] 100 times in the past week, and half of it was yesterday alone. He read it and tweeted back to me something along the lines of "That's a lot of listening! That makes me happy." AND, on top of all of that, I was his first tweet today. So from that, this is how the scene played out in my head: He wakes up, all groggy from a long night of recording and mixing the new material slated to be released this year. He steps out of his room and heads back to the studio to begin another day of work on the album. Before he dedicates himself to his work, he decides to log on to Twitter and post an update or two. He logs on and check his mentions. He sees mine in there. It motivates and inspires him, truly lifting his spirits and giving him that extra little push he needed to get going on his work. He then goes ahead and has the best day he's had in a long time, ending up well ahead of schedule, and making a mental note to mention me in his liner notes when the album is finally released.

Yeah, that'll never happen.)

The second period just started.

I have yet to see the dump and chase work effectively for USA. Maybe it's time to change the strategy.
Jerome "He's Intense and Has a Pulse on the Group" Iginla was just left alone out in front from a bad giveaway in the slot. Simple backhander that Miller kicks aside. Maybe he waffleboarded it.
USA penalty kill coming up. This could make or break the game. I don't see this being a repeat of the bronze medal game. A decent lead in this game will win this game.
So far, USA's blocking shots like it's their job. Oh, right, it IS their job. If they want to win.
I'm falling in love with Drury right now. He's been a madman on this PK. I don't know how many shot blocks he's had so far, but an unofficial tally is between 58 and 64.
And now there's a US power play coming up.
Parise trying to get an extra call might have just ruined that rush.
I think USA had better chances on their PK than on thier PP.
And Canada scores again, likely riding the momentum of a good PK.

I'd like to take this opportunity to throw my hat in the ring for @mpetrella's bet regarding this game, also donating 10 dollars for every goal CAN scores if they win to H2H. I'd think that's pretty ballsy considering the score already being 2-0.

Another lame duck power play for USA. It doesn't look like they want this at all.
Is the D-line for this PP really Johnson and Johnson?
The mixture of what seems like American disinterest and Canadian luck is slowing killing my excitement about this game. I don't feel right watching a game that I felt more excited for than it looks like the players were.

Random thought: 50 team hockey tournament, by state. Mixing pros with amateurs. I think that would do wonders for American buzz for hockey.

KANE SCORES! Or was it Livonia Native Ryan Kesler? The replay looks like he got a piece.
USA buzzing now. Someone tapped the team on their collective shoulders and whispered in their collective ears "Pssst... this is for the FUCKING GOLD MEDAL!"
Shut the fuck up, I don't care if it was offsides or not.
"Crosby" count: 2. Surprisingly not 20.
Also, Rafalski looks like the best player out in the red white and blue right now.
Livonia Native Ryan Kesler gets the goal.
I never realized how much of a douche Getslapped was until I started talking with you guys. But he gets the gold medal for douchiness.
According to NBC, Ryan Miller decided to play goalie at age 7, age 8, and age 9. Which is it, really?
Detroit/Colorado plays tomorrow, Babcock and Stastny will be there. I guess Rafi's just gonna stick around in Vancouver and do some shopping. Those post-Olympic sales have really great bargains.
That puck went straight up and straight down. I know how scary that can be as a goalie. not being able to track a puck like that.
Canada pressuring right now. Too much pressure.
2-1 turnover ratio. Not pretty.
Crosby count 4.
Luongo really doesn't look "on" right now. We should be taking advantage of this.
Crosby count 5.
2-1 after 2. At least it's not a shutout like the women's hockey was.

Revisiting my 50 team tournament: Can you imagine how much hype that would get? Michigan vs Minnesota, New York vs New Jersey? Team rosters featuring players like Brian Rafalski on defense with Joe Schmoe, South Lyon High School's star defenseman? States like Montana, New Mexico, good luck. Work with what you've got. We never expected you to win, but we expect you to try.

20 minutes left in this game. How will USA come out to start the 3rd? Will they play with the urgency and intensity being in their position requires? Will Canada recognize and adapt to what the US throws at them? If USA ties this up, does that give them the momentum, or does it just infuriate Canada? Who's going to step up and be the hero for either side?

And how pissed will we all be if this goes to a shootout?

I've noticed the US participate in that snowball fight in the Coke commercial. Unless I'm wrong.
You all won't know this, but it's really weird going "Eastern North Carolina". Too many directions.

Canada hits post. Come on.
There it is! "Waffleboarded by Luongo."
Canada hits poat. Come on. (Again.)
Every time I hear "Duncan Keith", I think of Duncan Sheik. You know, the "I am barely breathing, I can't find the air..." guy? No, that's just me? Okay.
There are only 10 Marines watching this game right now. Sad.
USA looks relaxed on the bench. I'm not sure whether I'm okay with that or if I want to see much more intensity out of them.
Crosby count: 6. 7. 8.
USA seems to get getting it back together right now. They're a surging wave. Not quite full strength, but it looks like their building.
I'm starting to get that adrenaline feeling I haven't felt since sometime last June.
Pavelski just ruined that rush with selfishness.
Crosby count: 9. 10. 11.
I don't even know what just kept that out of the net. But that HAS to be a wake up call for USA. They NEED to get their shit together RIGHT NOW if they want a shot at this. Time is NOT their friend.
It looks like it worked. Drury, et. al. just ran rampant on Canada that shift. Peppered Luongo. Good chances.
Rafalski STILL looks like the best player for USA.
Canada standing up at the line now. And with a vicious forecheck, too.
Crosby count: 12. He did next to nothing on that shift, but the camera follows him to the bench. I vomit a little in my mouth.
I don't like Pavelski's style right now. He seems a little to selfish for what the scoreboard says.
6 minutes to go. Ugh.
Raf steps up and nearly is the hero of the world right there.
Crosby count: 13. 14.
The camera scan of the Canadian bench left me thinking "Dick. Dick. Dick. Nash, you're okay. Dick. Dick. Dick."
4 minutes left. Nerves picking up.
Crosby count: 15, as he fucks up the breakaway. "They could not have hand picked a better player to move in on that breakaway." How about one who would have scored?
2:30 to play. Miller pulled soon?
16.
Miller to the bench. USA with about 6 chances, and none of them go. Time out, USA.
Who's NOT on the ice for the biggest part of the game right now? Crosby.
Dump and chase is not working. It never works. Not when you're up against the size of Canada.
SLOW RIDE SCORES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, my fucking God. Wow. No words right now. We (the Marines) didn't know it was a goal for about 5 seconds. I think we were disbelieving. And then all 10 of us went nuts. Me, less so because of this computer in my lap.

Okay, I'll explain Slow Ride.
Think about the Foghat song. "Slow ride, take it easy..."
My mother and I, back in the day, would come up with our own nicknames for players. Watching a Wings-Devils game, hearing Parise time and time again, I broke out into a song. "Slow ride, Zach Parise..." And it stuck.

Could this game have gone any better for hockey fans? Or for hockey in general? Everyone wanted a good, competetive game. We're all getting it. Overtime. Sudden death. Next goal wins. Someone's going to be a national hero soon. I hope it's Rafalski. I really, really, do. He's been the best player all Olympics. Or Pavelski. Ha.

Thanks, JR. I just said that someone was going to be a national hero. I said it first, asshole.

Also, side note. The creepy guy who was reading what I was typing while he sat next to me is gone. I wanted to call him out on here and see if he read it and got the hint.
And my ears are still hot from the rush I got from the tying goal.

Gee, thanks, DirecTV for bringing THIS game to us with limited commercial interruption, since you won't bring any other games.

I don't know if I like the 4-4 OT play.
Back and forth so far. Nothing consistant for either team.
Crosby count: 17 and 18.
Quick thoughts: Canada seems tentative, patient. USA seems driven, pulsing.
More back and forth. Quick jabs, both teams feeling each other out. This is about to explode, I think. Expect a flurry one way or the other.
CC: 19
There was the flurry. For Canada.
This is the biggest appeal of hockey for me. Any shot could end it. Any lucky bounce, any ricochet could immortalize one of these players.
Canada playing a frightened defense right now. 3 back, one weak forechecker.
Fuck."

No one knows why they stopped typing, or where they went. It is a mystery no one may ever be albe answer.

10 Hockey Truths. According To Me.

2010-02-25T17:59:00.000-05:00

10) I am hotter than the Sedin twins. This has been confirmed by multiple, independent parties. Just had to throw that one out there.

9) The mandatory shoot outs after every preseason game were fun, exciting and fresh. It has since worn out it's welcome and needs to be done away with.

8) The referees should be suspended above the rink on cables, dropping in only when needed. Okay, maybe not that extreme, but there must be a new plan to make them more effective while less intrusive.

7) It should be mandatory for you to have a Twitter page if you wear the C or the A on your chest.

6) If the puck goes up into the netting, you should be able to play it when it comes back to the ice.

5) There should be multiple cameras IN the pipes of the net to get definitive views of goals/no goals.

4) A goalie playing the puck outside of the trapezoid seems to be the opposite of actually "delaying the game". Either change the name of the penalty, or just stop the play if it happens.

3) Gordie Howe has been and will always be better than Wayne Gretzky. The numbers are misleading.

2) The practices where the players all swap positions should always be televised.

1) The Detroit Red Wings will always be the best team in sports. (It's a cop out, I know.)

That Having Been Said...

2010-02-23T20:26:00.000-05:00

Hi. How are you?
I'm Rob. Rob Masters, aka TRM.
And this is a little bit about me.

As long as I can remember, I've loved hockey, and loved the Red Wings. My first memory, when I was just a tiny little tot, was seeing Steve Yzerman taking a penalty shot. I remember being in the living room, sitting on the couch next to my mom, and just feeling the intensity of what was happening. I didn't understand it at all, but I didn't have to. The room was electric. And from then on, I was hooked. Hockey was my drug of choice, and the Red Wings were my dealer.
I became a fan bordering on obsessive. Eventually, I researched our draft picks. I watched every game with superstitious rituals. I went to training camps. I impressed people at these training camps. I also talked shit to Curtis Joseph's face at a training camp, but that's a different story.
I knew Datsyuk before any fans up at the camp did. Same with Zetterberg. I probably literally have one of the first autographs Zetterberg signed as a Red Wing. Rookie year, training camp, first day.
I'm not saying I've been perfect with my picks, but I've been pretty damn good. But, for my Datysuk and Zetterberg autographs, I also have Darryl Bootland (not too bad of a pick) and Robin Big Snake, too. Okay, Robin Big Snake was more about the name than the skill, but still, I have it.
My brother can back me on this, I was a Holmstrom fan before he got big. I was a Cleary fan his first season with us, before he got awesome. And I've always like Franzen. My mother and I probably had about 17 different nicknames for Franzen before the majority of Detroit knew his first name. Frickin' Franzen being the preferred.
So after all that, I've become pretty comfortable with my claim of being one of the biggest Wings fans ever, certainly one of the biggest I know, and definitely the biggest in the Marine Corps.
Obviously, being in the Marine Corps has hampered my ability to be the biggest fan I can be. And it without a doubt ruined the Wing's chances at the Cup last year, because I couldn't grow my playoff beard (although, I did for about a week when I was on leave).

So, yeah... That's why I do what I do.

I Might Have Gotten Carried Away

2010-02-23T18:04:00.000-05:00

So, I was reading the “debate” on the 2010 Men’s USA Hockey Team fan page on Facebook about if Buffalo was the new “Hockey Town” [sic].

At first, it was a poor excuse for a debate, amounting to not much more than “Uh-huh.” “Nuh-uh.” “Uh-huh.” “Nuh-uh.” “PHILLY!!!!!!1!!!” “Nuh-uh.” “Nuh-uh.”

Then, those lovely, respectable people in Buffalo started taking things, in my eyes, out of hand.

“Detroit a shit hole buffalo def”

“lol…..detroit…..i mean…..who in the hell wants to go there? let them have their little “hockey town” title…..God knows that cesspool of a city has nothing else going for them…..”

“Well then Hockeytown is a ghetto”

And my personal favorite “who else but detroit destoyss their city after winning the cup” (You can find that asshole here: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000590664416)

Meanwhile, the Detroiters/Red Wings faithful kept their retorts and arguments within the confines of that lovely little 200x85 foot rectangle… rounded rectangle thing, where the games are played. They merely brought up the overwhelming Cup evidence, the playoffs streak, the fact that there are 6 Michiganders in the Olympics (including Buffalo’s beloved Ryan Miller), and the Winter Classic’s ratings blowout.

Not once did I see a Wings supporter mention anything bad about the quality of Buffalo’s fans, the city itself, or even talk bad about the Sabres.

So, with me having a short internet temper at times, and having not written a decent amount of anything since moving to New River, decided to throw my hat in the ring. My response is as follows:

“Detroit has won more Stanley Cups in the past 15 years than the number of times that Buffalo has even seen the Cup Finals.
And if people want to start making this a mudslinging contest, talking bad about Detroit’s fans and the state economy, well then a) you’re terribly mistaken because Detroit has NEVER rioted after a Cup win or after last year’s Cup loss, and b) when the ticket prices at the Joe directly reflect the economy in the Metro Detroit area, then you can talk about the fanbase.
And Detroit as a shithole? We’ve hosted MANY Stanley Cup Finals, on account of being better than 29 other teams in the leauge, we’ve hosted MLB’s All-Star game, we’ve hosted the Super Bowl, and we’d recently had the NBA finals AND the NCAA Basketball Tournaments. Maybe it’s not as much of as shithole as you think it is.
And after that, if you still want to base the ‘rightful’ owners of the nickname off of those things, then you don’t even deserve the title, because you’re just pitiful, overzealous fanatics. It’s one thing to be a fan, but when you start letting it get to your head and cloud your judgment that you’ll go so far as to insult your opponent for no good reason at all, you’re just a sad, sad person.
So, let’s let the facts and the stats speak for themselves.

Detroit is the ONLY Hockeytown.”

So, yeah. I think I got a little carried away. Not for writing it, but for writing THAT MUCH. I don’t think anyone’s actually going to read all of that. Ever.